OK, lots to talk about lol!
My axe 8 and XL+ both sound great in ear buds, full blown headphones and in ears. However, that's only if I use one of my studio sounds. Studio sound meaning, created and tweaked for the studio.
This sound going to the mains, usually sounds good but if I pipe it through my Marshall cab, it's thin and not very good.
My live sound, which was created through my cab, sounds great through the cab as well as the house. But it's also mic'd in a sweet spot. This sound direct to the house, needs massive work to sound good. Too much low end, and it just doesn't translate well the same as it doesn't if I try to record this sound using the XLR outs.
Finding this happy medium may be a challenge because everyone has different ears. 12 guys may tell you their rigs sound great....you may hate their sound. It's just a matter of trial and error. I don't mind bringing a 4x12 cab and a 5 space rack.
I'm set up in 40 seconds or less. One cable to my cab, plug in my furman, plug in the cable for my MFC and I'm rocking'.
On the gap thing, this is a bit of a problem for me too with the AX8. However, I've noticed something weird in my particular application.
Scenes, which are supposed to stop/cut down on the gap, actually make it worse for me. I literally use individual presets to make the gap lesser of a problem.
My MKII and XL+ have 0 gap using scenes, but have gaps in full blown preset changes, but they are different animals.
The biggest issue with gaps is amp changes from X to Y. If you can cut that down, or make individual presets that have your Y changes set for X and do the individual preset thing, I promise you a definite difference for the better.
As for not being happy with patches, the start there is to share what you have created so far. Though we can't totally advise you what may be wrong because we.don't have the same gear and signal, we may be able to pick up on *something* to point you in the right direction.
Whatever you do, try not to get frustrated. You got some really good guys involved in your thread that though passionate about their tone/rig etc, really want to help. I know you know that....just assuring you.