Dad Jokes

[Freds55]

Another Year almost gone man they go by fast. Hope everyone had a great Holiday.


A man asks his buddy for a cigarette. His friend quips, “I thought you made a New Year’s resolution and that you don’t smoke.” The man replied, “I’m in phase one of quitting.” Confused, his friend asked, “Phase one?” The man laughed, “Yes. I’ve quit buying.”

 

[Toopy14]

 

[Freds55]

Oh now that’s funny I’m busting a gut here

 

[Freds55]

Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?
He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!

 

[Xrocker]

But it’s an air Strat and I wanted an air Tele.

 

[Freds55]

What does a nosey pepper do?

It gets jalapeño business.

 

[Freds55]

Why should you stand on your left foot during the NYE countdown?
So you can start the New Year on the right foot.

 

[Toopy14]

Here it is folks, the first image from the James Webb Space Telescope. Launched into orbit to replace the Hubble Telescope.

 

[DaveO]

Here it is folks, the first image from the James Webb Space Telescope. Launched into orbit to replace the Hubble Telescope.

LMFAO!!

 

[notalemming]

 

[Freds55]

View attachment 93403

Oh my gosh that is hilarious just sat down for a minute and saw this and I’m still laughing that is beautiful lol

 

[Freds55]

I talk to myself because sometimes I just need expert advice.

 

[Toopy14]

 

[Freds55]

What kind of cars do eggs drive? Yolkswagens.

 

[Freds55]

I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap. Lol

 

[notalemming]

Who is Santa's helper's favorite entertainer?

Elfis Presley.

 

[Freds55]

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate.

But I will wait till tomorrow to start.

 

[DallasGlenn2005]

I’ve got a killer knock knock joke, but someone needs to start it for me.

 

[Fro68]

knock knock

 

[fcs101]

I’ve got a killer knock knock joke, but someone needs to start it for me.

Knock, knock