Dad Jokes

[Mr.Tee]

What were the bass player's 3 hardest years?
The 2nd grade

 

[Freds55]

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

At least it does if you throw it hard enough.

 

[Freds55]

Not to brag but I made six figures last year.

I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

 

[bleujazz3]

Q: What does it mean if your nose runs and your feet smell?

A: It means you're built upside down.

(Courtesy of Burt Teague, local celebrity and guitarist)

 

[Freds55]

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in.

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Lol

 

[Joe Bfstplk]

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in.

A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. Lol

Hopefully that is a distinction with a difference this year....

 

[Freds55]

I totally agree Joe.
Here‘s to a great New year.

Cheers

 

[Freds55]

What’s the difference between “incomplete” and “finished”??

– A man without a wife feels incomplete. Once married, he’s finished. Lol

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why couldn't the chili practice archery?

A: It didn't habanero!

 

[Freds55]

What New Year’s resolution guarantees success?

Making a resolution to break your resolution.

 

[Toopy14]

Luke’s dad qualifies to post a dad joke.

 

[notalemming]

 

[Joe Bfstplk]

View attachment 93568

Stealing this....

 

[Freds55]

Which superhero hits the most home runs?
Batman.

 

[bleujazz3]

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a dead magician?

A: Abracadaver!

 

[Freds55]

Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong. Lol

 

[bleujazz3]

Two old women were sitting outside a convention center where an event was being held, and one leaned over to another and said,

"I'll give you $20 if you run naked through the convention center."

The 2nd thought: "Hmm. I could use the $20."

So, a few minutes later the old biddy dashed through the convention center completely in the buff.

About 10 minutes later, she returned, hold a large bouquet and a huge blue ribbon.

"What happened?" asked the 1st.

"It was a flower show, and I won 1st prize for best dried arrangement."

 

[Freds55]

Two old women were sitting outside a convention center where an event was being held, and one leaned over to another and said,

"I'll give you $20 if you run naked through the convention center."

The 2nd thought: "Hmm. I could use the $20."

So, a few minutes later the old biddy dashed through the convention center completely in the buff.

About 10 minutes later, she retuned, hold a large bouquet and a huge blue ribbon.

"What happened?" asked the 1st.

"It was a flower show, and I won 1st prize for best dried arrangement."

Now that is funny good one lol I

What street do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.

 

[bleujazz3]

Now that is funny good one lol I

What street do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.

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