Dad Jokes

[grandinq]

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s terrified of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

[Freds55]

Here‘s to a great New Years Cheers

Knock knock! Who’s there? Razor. Razor who? Razor glass and toast to a happy new year

 

[Freds55]

knock knock

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s terrified of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Hope you guys got some good Jokes for Christmas

I thought it was pretty funny the dad jokes for Christmas I love it. Love a good chuckle


What happened when an iPhone and a firework were arrested on NYE?

One was charged and the other was let off.

 

[DallasGlenn2005]

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

 

[fcs101]

Who’s there?

I see what you did there! Ha!

 

[Fro68]

Who’s there?

Banana

 

[Freds55]

Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve.

Times Square.

 

[Toopy14]

 

[Jammin PA]

When does a joke become a Dad joke?

When it becomes...apparent.

 

[Freds55]

I was going to quit all of my bad habits for the new year…

But then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?

A: "Just between you and me, something smells!"

 

[bleujazz3]

What did the Dad say to his guests when they asked how he planned on living out his years?

The old man said, "I plan on living vicariously through my children." Then, he sat down, put his feet up on the coffee table, burped and asked for some more milk and cookies.

 

[Freds55]

What's the luckiest band to listen to on New Year's Day? Black-Eyed Peas

 

[Freds55]

What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?

The New Year’s Eve cleanup crew.

 

[Ron_R]

Why don't you ever see Elephants hiding in trees?

Because they're really good at it.

 

[Ron_R]

What's the difference between a cranky two year old, and a duckling?

One's a whiny toddler, and the other is tiny waddler.

 

[Freds55]

Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce have a much better year than last!

 

[Freds55]

I used to run a dating service for chickens.

But I was struggling to make hens meet.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What's the best thing about Switzerland?

A: I don't know, but their flag is definitely a big plus!

 

[Freds55]

I don’t get why Marvel doesn’t use the Hulk to advertise more.

He’s basically one big Banner.