Dad Jokes

[DaveO]

Which concert only costs 45 cents?
A concert featuring Nickelback and 50 Cent!

 

[Freds55]

What’s a bummer about Thursday?
Knowing that a sadder day is only 2 days away.

 

[fcs101]

Happy Saturday,
How do you reduce wind-drag on a bassist’s car?
Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

 

[Freds55]

My mom entered her potato plants in a gardening contest for this Saturday.
I’m rooting for her!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What would happen if women ruled the world?

A: There would be no war, just a bunch of countries not talking to each other.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a guitarist that can read music?

A: A prodigy.

 

[Freds55]

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it’s a sour puss

 

[Freds55]

How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.

 

[Freds55]

What do you call an anxious fly? A jitterbug.

 

[Freds55]

If your in the path of the solar eclipse…..Enjoy The Solar Eclipse

We will be in about the 70% zone. We picked up some glasses to protect our eyes should be interesting.

Happy Monday

 

[bleujazz3]

If your in the path of the solar eclipse…..Enjoy The Solar Eclipse

We will be in about the 70% zone. We picked up some glasses to protect our eyes should be interesting.

Happy Monday

Yesterday while working it seemed like every 5th customer would ask, "Do you have an eclipse glasses for sale?" My response was, "Well, last I heard that the local library had some, but are now sold out. The only remaining place is the science center up on the mountain. You'd need to give them a call early Monday." After the patron left, I then turned to my boss and asked him, "Where was corporate on this? We could have made a boatload on eclipse glasses."

"Hamina-hamina" was his reply.

 

[Freds55]

Well the eclipse was pretty cool we had seventy percent maybe 75 and it was very cool. Many of our family saw the totality of the eclipse In other states very neat to see this.

What do you call it when the moon tells a joke during an eclipse?
Lunar humor!

 

[Freds55]

What’s the sun’s favorite dance during an eclipse?
The moonwalk!

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why should you never treat a woman like an object?

A: It hates that.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a woman standing in the center of a tennis court?

A: Annette.

 

[DaveO]

Son: Dad, can you explain what a solar eclipse is? Dad: No sun. A solar eclipse is when the moon is between the Earth and the Sun. A lunar eclipse is when the Earth is between the Moon and the Sun. And what’s it called when the sun is between the moon and the earth? The apocalypse!

 

[DaveO]

Q: How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A: A widow.

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why is it unnecessary to ever buy your wife a watch?

A: There's a clock on stove!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a bass player that plays chords?

A: Show off!