Dad Jokes

[DaveO]

People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. It’s your vacuum cleaner that should give you pause. Why?
It’s been collecting dirt on you for years.

...
Why was the buffalo’s cellphone bill so high? Because he had a lot of roaming charges!”

 

[DaveO]

Why did the housewife consider her vacuum cleaner her favorite companion?
Because it really sucks at listening!”

 

[DaveO]

probably already posted, but gave me a chuckle...
“Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!”

 

[DaveO]

I had a discussion with this Pianist,
Pianist said what up?
I said this....

 

[Freds55]

I was so frustrated that I couldn't see the solar eclipse today!

The moon was in my way the whole time...

 

[Freds55]

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

 

[Freds55]

Hey @Freds55 Why can’t Buddhists vacuum under the couch?
Because they have no attachments!

Cheers

@DaveO got a good laugh out of that one hope everything is going good on the west coast…

Q: Why was Aladdin banned from racing flying carpets?

A: He was using performance enhancing rugs.

@fcs101 you guys are cracking me up this afternoon this is a funny one Cole love it ….

Just grilled some steak and sweet potatoes and had some chocolate cake with chocolate fudge frosting oh baby!

Happy Friday Guys

Cheers

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why do carpet stores have the best internet speeds?

A: Because of all the fiber networks!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call someone obsessed with floor coverings?

A: A rug addict.

 

[Freds55]

I was told that I could view the eclipse through a colander.

I tried it, but it just strained my eyes! lol.

 

[bleujazz3]

Family had planned this elaborate meal...drinks, appetizers, soups, salad, main course, dessert, aperitif (or coffee/tea).

It was great, but what do we have now?

Leftovers.

 

[Freds55]

What did the moon say to her therapist?

I'm just going through a phase.

 

[fcs101]

Chuck Norris uses one chopstick.

 

[fcs101]

Q: How is arguing with a woman like reading a software license agreement?

A: In the end you ignore it all and click "I Agree".

 

[Freds55]

How does the sun listen to music? On his ray-dio.

 

[Freds55]

Why did the farmer bury all his money? To make his soil rich.

 

[DaveO]

I was told that I could view the eclipse through a colander.

I tried it, but it just strained my eyes! lol.

touché @Freds55 love this one!

 

[Freds55]

lol Thanks DaveO. Yay it made me snicker too.

 

[Freds55]

How do you know flowers are friendly? They always have new buds.

 

[DaveO]

Happy Saturday,
How do you reduce wind-drag on a bassist’s car?
Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof