What's your best guitar joke?

Q: difference between a condom and a drummer?

A: no one. It's more safe with one but better without.


A guy comes into a shop and ask :
_ The guy: "Do you have a 500W Marshall and a Gibson Stratocaster with a telescopic neck?"

_ The seller: "You are a drummer?"

_ The guy : "Yes, how do you guess it?"

_ The seller: "Because here it's a travel agency."
 
Last edited:
How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer 10.......one to change the bulb, the other nine to stand around saying "not bad but I could've done better myself"!

Drummers revenge joke: Whats the difference between a drummer and a gynacologist?
Answer: A gynacologist only plays with one c**t at a time!
 
GiRa said:
Rock concert: 3 chords and 1000 people in the crowd.
Jazz concert: 1000 chords and 3 people in the crowd.
Click to expand...

Oh GiRa you win!! Yours is funny!!!

Reminds me of this one>>
Rap artist: no talent, samples everyone else's music= Mansion, Limo's, millionaire.
Heavy Metal guitarist: talent, writes his own music= lives with parents, rides the city bus, works a 9-5 job too.

of course just a generalization.
 
When I saw Hendrix as a little boy I told my mother I wanted to be a guitarist when I grew up.

She said "Sorry, but you can't do both".
 
Q: Why do drummers leave their drumsticks on the dashboard when they park their car?
A: So they can legally park in the handicapped space.

Q: What did the drummer do when he locked his keys in his car?
A: Spent an hour and a half trying to get the bass player out.

Q: What does a guitar player use for birth control?
A: His personality.
 
Some general musician jokes:

Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What do a trombone player and a baseball have in common?
A: Everyone cheers when you hit them with a bat.

Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?
A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.

Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind-driven, manually operated pitch approximator.

Q: How are a banjo player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command immediate attention, alarm and force everyone to move out of range.
 
Last edited:
Q: What's the difference between a cello and a double bass?
A: The double bass holds more beer.

Q: What has three legs and a dick?
A: A drum throne.

Q: What do you get if you cross a drummer with a gorilla?
A: A really dumb gorilla.

Three girls are talking about their boyfriends in band. One boy is a trumpet player, one is a tuba player, and the other is a french horn player.
The trumpet player's girlfriend says "My boyfriend kisses best because he has tight puckered lips all the time."
The tuba player's girlfriend says "My boyfriend kisses best because he has big floppy lips."
The french horn player's girlfriend speaks up, "Well my boyfriend can't kiss, but I love the way he holds me!"

You are driving home from the gig in the band truck and you see the drummer and the band manager beside the road. Which one do you run over first? The manager....business before pleasure!

Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
A: A trombone player with a pager.
 
A kid begs his dad for bass lessons.
The dad is reluctant because his kid always looses interest and never finishes what he starts.
After promising his dad he won't give up this time his dad takes him to his first bass lesson.
At the end of the lesson his dad asks,"What did you learn today"?
Kid says "I learned all the notes on the first string".

Next week it's time for his second lesson. He goes to his dad and says, "I can't go to my lesson this week".
Dad is furious. "I knew you were going to give up and quit taking lessons".
Kid: "I'm not quitting, I've got a gig".
 
Q - What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?
A - A guitarist who's told too many drummer jokes.

Q: Why are there no banjo players in any sci-fi films?
A: They’re set in the future.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom