What's your best guitar joke?

L

Lunchbox272

Member
Been trying to think of some good music related jokes, especially about guitar, theres always the go-to "how do you get a guitar player to shut up...

... put some sheet music in front of him"

or

"how many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...

... 4, one to screw in the lightbulb and three to drink until the room spins"

What are some good ones that you guys have?
 
Why are electric guitarists so bad in bed? They don't have an amplifier there.

Why don't bass players ever catch a cold? Even a virus has some pride

I asked my drummer to spell Mississippi. He asked the river or the state?

Who would win if a drummer and singer got into a fight? Its a trick question. There wouldn't be a fight. The singer would whine until he got his way.
 
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool

How do you get a drummer off your porch?
You pay for the pizza

How many lead vocalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one to hold it while the whole world spins around her
 
I once got shocked by a spider amp. I got powers like Spiderman did, except I model everyone else's powers poorly.
 
Q: What does it mean when a drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth?
A: The stage is level.

Q: What do you throw a drowning guitar player?
A: His amp.

Q: What does a stripper do with her **shole before she goes to work?
A: Drops him off at band rehearsal.
 
Forgive me, my bass-playing brothers. I mean you no ill. I've played bass now and then myself, though nowhere near as well as a real bass player. I post this only because it's funny, and because I know there are some excellent guitar-player jokes that you can get me back with.

Q: How do you piss off a bass player?

A: Put one of his strings out of tune, but don't tell him which one.
​
 
"I'm not into all those letters and constraints they like to put on us. It's all about the vibrations. That's where it's at. Vibrations. Like, crazy man. Dig it."

*Beatniks in the audience snap their fingers in a snappy beatnik type applause* ;)
 
Did you ever break a g-string while fingering a minor? :eek:
-

What's the first thing a singer does in the morning?
Take her clothes and go home.
-

Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune?
Neither did I

Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners?
So the rest of the band can understand them

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless...

How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune?
Evidently all of them.

More:
www.ducksdeluxe.com/jokes.html
Musician Jokes
etc.
 
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