Dad Jokes

[Freds55]

What's green and wears a cape? Super Pickle.

 

[Freds55]

I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.

 

[Freds55]

What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel? Pickleodeon.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?

A: Skinning the vegan.

 

[bleujazz3]

Hey Bob saw your post I just spent 5 days picking 14 Lbs of cucumbers put up 7 quarts of bread & butter pickles.
You sharing your garden I thought I’d share my canning. Raining cats an dogs here…


Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them? They're pickle-ish.

If my cucumber crop occurs quickly, it will be possible to warm-store B&B sandwich pickles this year. I think I've got at least one or more quart-sized B&B pickles from last year that have not yet been tapped.

 

[Freds55]

If my cucumber crop occurs quickly, it will be possible to warm-store B&B sandwich pickles this year. I think I've got at least one or more quart-sized B&B pickles from last year that have not yet been tapped.

Our bread and butter pickles will live in the pantry until it’s there time on the table.

What’s a pickle’s favorite show?

Dill or No Dill.

 

[fcs101]

My friend's grandpa died while making butter on their dairy farm...it was an unfortunate churn of events.

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why can't Spiderman be faithful?

A: He's a swinger.

 

[Freds55]

What do you call a group of jelly beans singing together? A jam session!

 

[fcs101]

Q: How do bears communicate?

A: Teddy grahams.

 

[Freds55]

What did the horse say when he fell down?

Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

 

[bleujazz3]

What did the horse say when he fell down?

Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Bumper sticker seen on car:

What to do when you've fallen and can't get it up?
Call: 1-800-CIALIS1
P.S. How's My Driving?

 

[fcs101]

This isn't a joke, just something I find curious and amusing.

Billy Ray Cyrus has been in the news lately. I hadn't seen a pic of him in years and I could only think he seems to be channeling his inner Chris Stapleton!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do they do at the Teddy Bear factory?

A: Stuff.

 

[fcs101]

Q: How do you get 500 cows into one barn?

A: Put a "Bingo" sign on it!

 

[bleujazz3]

Q: What to do when you're told you don't have any sense of humor?

A: Wander aimlessly asking locals how to get to work.

 

[bleujazz3]

Of Note: If your cat is an indoor cat, do you supply him with a patch of cat grass to help ease his digestion?
This might explain your propensity for veganism, and solve the watching cows-play conundrum while drinking milk.

 

[Liam of the Clan]

Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?

A: A garbage truck.

 

[bleujazz3]

Just noted that this and the next post will add up to 600 pages of Dad Jokes and 12K responses to this thread.

Great Googily Moogily indeed...

 

[bleujazz3]

Hence thee claim the 600 page / 12K post right