Dad Jokes

A bank robber pulls a gun, points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!”

The puzzled cashier asks, “Did you mean to say 'or you’re history?'”

The robber replied, “Don’t change the subject!”
 
fcs101 said:
Q: What do you call Dracula with hay fever?

A: The pollen Count.
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Q: What do you call a young high schooler on his first date on senior's night?
A: A sweater and a groaner.

Q: Why should we never try to discuss foreign policy at a finger foods luncheon?
A: Some folks might mistake C for celery, and Canada might withdraw from the smoothie pacifier you had concocted that didn't go over with the Portland Sling that actually tasted pretty decently.

fcs101 said:
Q: If A is for apple and B is for banana, then what is C for?

A: Plastic explosives.
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bleujazz3 said:
Q: What do you call a young high schooler on his first date on senior's night?
A: A sweater and a groaner.

Q: Why should we never try to discuss foreign policy at a finger foods luncheon?
A: Some folks might mistake C for celery, and Canada might withdraw from the smoothie pacifier you had concocted that didn't go over with the Portland Sling that actually tasted pretty decently.
Click to expand...
Q: What do you call a high schooler that can do anything?

A: A canteen.
 
fcs101 said:
Q: What do you call a high schooler that can do anything?

A: A canteen.
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An older husband after many years of wistful married bliss slowly felt that his wife was slowly slipping away from him. His usual evening chores of cleaning up washing and drying the kitchen pots and pans, dishes and utensils, was being met with cold indifference.

One evening he set out to create a special meal for his wife, and in the process made a huge mess in the kitchen. What was the meal? Stuffed large green peppers with white cream sauce and pomegranate seeds. Ahhh-K.

The wife nearly laughed out loud for his folly, but when the sat down to eat, they got a chance to really talk about what they mean to each other. They reaffirmed their love for one another, and promised to never take each other's actions for granted.

What was the result? The husband's self-confidence was restored, the wife's sense of compassion for her husband's kind words also reaffirmed. A marriage that could have been drifting apart found what is was built upon originally.

What do you call a high schooler who can do anything, except perhaps fix relationships? ("No such luck...")
 
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