Dad Jokes

[Freds55]

Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck? Because he kept quacking the eggs!

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why don't dinosaurs celebrate Easter?

A: They're eggs-tinct!

 

[Freds55]

We're doing great; good to hear you are as well. We'll be having ham with sides and carrot cake for Easter dinner! I have young children so we'll be dying eggs as well. Fun times!

I always loved dying the eggs lots of fun with my nieces and nephews. Oh man that carrot cake sounds great. Haven’t even thought about dessert. Gonna have to talk to the wife about that. Lol

 

[Freds55]

Was thinking of going to see the solar eclipse in Atlanta but my sister in Lake Jackson looks like she will see a near total solar eclipse.
Pretty Cool!

What do you call an Easter egg from outer space? An egg-straterrestrial! Lol.

 

[Freds55]

What did the bunny with DirecTV say to the other bunny? I can't believe you still have rabbit ears!

 

[fcs101]

Irony:

364 days of the year--"Do NOT eat anything you find on the ground!"
Easter--"Go and search in the dirt for candy a strange giant bunny left for you, kids!"

 

[fcs101]

Q: How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?

A: Eggs-ercise.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What's the Easter Bunny's favorite exercise?

A: Hare-robics.

 

[Freds55]

What does it mean when the Easter Bunny arrives one day late with melted candy?
He probably had a bad hare day.

 

[Freds55]

How does a rabbit make gold soup?
He begins with 24 carrots (carets

 

[Freds55]

What is the difference between a new-age rabbit that is preparing for the future and one that is getting ready for dinner?
The first rabbit will visualize world peace. The second rabbit will visualize whirled peas.

 

[fcs101]

If the Goo Goo Dolls went on tour with Lady GaGa, it could be the "Goo Goo GaGa Tour"!

 

[Freds55]

It started raining coins outside today.

I guess it’s just climate change.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What happened to the Easter Bunny when he got in trouble at school?

A: He was egg-spelled.

 

[Freds55]

What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?

Van Hailin’.

 

[fcs101]

Q: How does the Easter Bunny dry off?

A: With a hare dryer!

 

[Freds55]

I think my wife is starting to get depressed with all this rain we’re getting.

Everyday, I see her at the window with a sad look on her face.

If it gets any worse I might have to let her back inside.

 

[DaveO]

One Easter, a father was teaching his son to drive when out of nowhere a rabbit with a basket of eggs jumped on the road. Slamming on the brakes, the son said, “I ruined Easter! I ran over the Easter Bunny.” His father looked out the rear window and then replied, “It’s OK, son — you missed by a hare.”

 

[DaveO]

What do you call a line of rabbits jumping backwards?
A receding hareline.

 

[DaveO]