Dad Jokes

Some years ago, when we had more money, we used to enjoy the season by giving gifts, not just specifically on the 25th, but year-round. It put less emphasis on the materialistic aspect of the holiday, and gave the family something to enjoy whenever we felt like giving.

What did our family cat receive? A sock filled with kibble and catnip. That little bugger had so much fun with that, he didn't bother us for extra food for over 2 weeks. Probably too zonked to make the effort. Anyway, if gift-giving is your thing, give your cat a sock.
 
So it was St. Patrick's day and Paddy's wife had fallen asleep early. He thought ah, now's my chance - I'll sneak out to the pub for a quick pint and she'll never know. So he made his way to the local pub and had a grand time. There was a hot band playing some fiddle tunes and everybody was in great spirits. By chance he happened to look up at the clock and saw that it was much later than he had planned on staying. He settled up with the bartender and got down from his barstool. He took one step and fell right on his face. He thought to himself "boy, I haven't been this bad in years!" He pulled himself back up using the bar and took another step towards the door and fell flat on his face again. He pulled himself up and used the bar to get to the door. One more step out the door and he was back on the ground. Luckily he lived nearby so he pulled himself along the cobblestone walkway and into his house. He pulled himself up the stairs and as quiet as he could he pulled himself up into bed.

The next morning his wife called out to him "Paddy, you go out drinking again last night?"

"How did you know?" he replied.

"The bartender called - you forgot your wheelchair again."
 
grandinq said:
I love this thread. I’m a teacher and I’m taking notes and grabbing some of these for my classes.
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Hi @grandinq I love it glad you are getting some good jokes out of some of these groaners lol. You put a smile on my face and I got a good chuckle When you said you were going to share some of these with your students. Hope you get some good laughs out of these jokes for your students.

Hope you have a Merry Christmas 🎄🙂
 
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