Thanks. It was one of those "it was sitting there for too long online and nobody wanted it so I bought it" things.
The action and setup were totally screwed up and, while returning it back to factory specs on the neck pickup, I accidentally tore out one of the wires and broke the pickup. SOooo, PRS, being PRS, the only way to replace the pickup was to send it in. And, while it was there I decided to waste some money and have them do a full tune-up to it because I wanted to switch to NYXL 9.5 gauge strings.
Yeah, it was an expensive repair and tuneup, but it was worth it. I've enjoyed the guitar, and now, after that little tweak, it's really a keeper. I understand the 509 magic now.
I'll have it and my friends will come over to caress it and moan over it, and I'll be like "Get your hands away you!"