My same situation, except I need to be able to interactively 'jam' with a 'drummer' for an indeterminate length. I wonder if someday the 'Artificial Intelligence' will be smart enough that the software can actually examine the dynamics of audio and 'figure out' likely places for fills, breakdowns etc.
Jamstix does this already.
There's "Audio Jam" mode. You insert a plugin onto an audio track (even one you're playing in real time on your guitar) and Jamstix listens to your audio levels. As you get louder, it gets louder. Not just louder, but more fills, and busier parts. As you play quieter, Jamstix quiets down, drops parts and simplified the beat. You can even make adjustments to the dynamic curve it follows, or adjust the max/min velocity that hits will use. I.E. you can set it simply play a more basic beat on quiet parts, but still full volume hits. Or vice versa, you can set it to play busy over loud parts, but using sidestick and quiet dynamics still.
In other words, Jamstix is awesome if you're just looking to "jam" with a drummer.
As for recording, the Jamstix kits aren't the most amazing sounds I've heard, but what I do is take the midi out of jamstix and feed it to Superior Drummer, which I then mix out of the box. I also mix the Jamstix samples in under the Superior samples, especially snare and kick, to flush things out a bit.
Regarding the "People recognizing a drum sound" - it's not the DRUMS people are talking about. Think of the drum sound on the beginning of "When the levee breaks". That huge reverb, pumpy compression, clanky hi hat sound. If I put out a record with that exact drum sound, would you recognize the DRUMS? No. You'd recognize the drum PRODUCTION. This is the problem most people encounter with pre-treated sample sets like EzDrummer. It's too easy to run into multiple artists and recordings using the exact same samples, treated the exact same way. So it's not like recognizing "hey, that sounds like a Tele!" - instead it's like recognizing the guitar, the production, and even the player.