Dad Jokes

fcs101 said:
Q: How are trumpet players like pirates?

A: They're both murder on the high Cs.
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Call 411 before you dig.

True story follow-up. Several years ago, a story circulated on the internet about the lost treasure of the Sierra Madre. Apparently, some old philanthropist drew up an encrypted treasure map with all sorts of hidden clues and placed within a metal strongbox, money, gold and silver coins and bars, some jewels, among additional valuables.

According to recent searchers, that treasure was finally located despite the fact that many hunters gave up their lives searching for the treasure.

In more recent internet news, a cryptograph puzzle was made available which contained over 40 greater than 3 letter clues. The treasure is comparable: A large metal strong box hidden supposedly hidden in Montana that contains paper money, gold and silver coins and bars, jewels and other valuables. Supposedly worth searching for, but how can persuade my enthusiastic young brother from risking his secure life in mid-west America while he tries to decipher the cryptograph?

The cryptograph puzzle may also contain code, which makes it harder to decipher. Everyone loves a treasure hunt. But my track record even at Easter egg hunts is pretty lame.

IIRC, I've got a copy of the cryptograph for anyone who cares to take a crack at solving the treasure hunt. Here ya go...

Treasure Puzzle
​
Within the accompanying letter map puzzle, view upwards, downwards, side to side, and diagonally upwards and downwards, and diagonally backwards and forwards for clues.
Disregard 3-letter words (As these are of no significance), but take note of nouns, specifically.
If perhaps you discover the entirety of the puzzle, the subsequent clues are supposed to lead you to the location of a money strong box, which supposedly contains valuables for the discoverer.

6G6WI7V.jpg


​
 
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bleujazz3 said:
Call 411 before you dig.

True story follow-up. Several years ago, a story circulated on the internet about the lost treasure of the Sierra Madre. Apparently, some old philanthropist drew up an encrypted treasure map with all sorts of hidden clues and placed within a metal strongbox, money, gold and silver coins and bars, some jewels, among additional valuables.

According to recent searchers, that treasure was finally located despite the fact that many hunters gave up their lives searching for the treasure.

In more recent internet news, a cryptograph puzzle was made available which contained over 40 greater than 3 letter clues. The treasure is comparable: A large metal strong box hidden supposedly hidden in Montana that contains paper money, gold and silver coins and bars, jewels and other valuables. Supposedly worth searching for, but how can persuade my enthusiastic young brother from risking his secure life in mid-west America while he tries to decipher the cryptograph?

The cryptograph puzzle is written in code, which makes it harder to decipher. Everyone loves a treasure hunt. But my track record even at Easter egg hunts is pretty lame.

IIRC, I've got a copy of the cryptograph for anyone who cares to take a crack at solving the treasure hunt. Here ya go...

Treasure Puzzle
​
Within the accompanying letter map puzzle, view upwards, downwards, side to side, and diagonally upwards and downwards, and diagonally backwards and forwards for clues.
Disregard 3-letter words (As these are of no significance), but take note of nouns, specifically.
If perhaps you discover the entirety of the puzzle, the subsequent clues are supposed to lead you to the location of a money strong box, which supposedly contains valuables for the discoverer.

6G6WI7V.jpg


​
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Hmmm...I think I spotted three words: wild, goose, chase.
 
fcs101 said:
Hmmm...I think I spotted three words: wild, goose, chase.
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Heh, that may be true, but I personally don't doubt the original treasure story that had been 15 to 20 years in the making. Don't know who located the treasure, but some say the haul of gold and silver was spectacular. There were several words I could see: Crete, Nineteen, Five, Square, Quarry, Sapphire, Three (backwards) stood out quickly...
 
Here's the joke I like:

An old Italian father, in poor health, needed to till his garden soil for tomato planting later this season, but no one could help the poor man. The old man wrote to his son who was doing time in the local penitentiary for grand auto.

The old man thus wrote:

Dearest Angelo,
It is with a heavy heart I write to you this year. Normally, you'd be with family, but circumstances show that you cannot be with us this year. What am I to do for Aunt Rosa who wants tomatoes and basil from our garden? The soil is hard and nearly impossible to till. Planting season is soon upon us. What am I to do?
Your loving grandfather,
Vinnie.

About two weeks later a letter arrives from the penitentiary, opened and censored.

Dearest Grandpop,
Do not, repeat, do not dig in the backyard garden plot. And don't say a word. That is where Great-GrandDad hid all the bodies.
Your loving grandson,
Angelo

Sure enough, within two days time law enforcement arrived at the old man's home and rousted him out of bed and began digging in the backyard until the entire property had either been tested with a sonogram or unearthed with pick-axe and shovel. The cops found nothing with which they could charge the old man, so they left him, bewildered at home, if none the worse for wear.

A week later, Angelo wrote back:

Dear Grandpop,
Word has it on the cellblock the cops dug up your entire yard looking for evidence. Since there was none, you may now begin planting your tomato garden.
Enjoy your summer and give Aunt Rosa my best.
Your loving grandson,
Angelo
 
Count, round
bleujazz3 said:
Call 411 before you dig.

True story follow-up. Several years ago, a story circulated on the internet about the lost treasure of the Sierra Madre. Apparently, some old philanthropist drew up an encrypted treasure map with all sorts of hidden clues and placed within a metal strongbox, money, gold and silver coins and bars, some jewels, among additional valuables.

According to recent searchers, that treasure was finally located despite the fact that many hunters gave up their lives searching for the treasure.

In more recent internet news, a cryptograph puzzle was made available which contained over 40 greater than 3 letter clues. The treasure is comparable: A large metal strong box hidden supposedly hidden in Montana that contains paper money, gold and silver coins and bars, jewels and other valuables. Supposedly worth searching for, but how can persuade my enthusiastic young brother from risking his secure life in mid-west America while he tries to decipher the cryptograph?

The cryptograph puzzle may also contain code, which makes it harder to decipher. Everyone loves a treasure hunt. But my track record even at Easter egg hunts is pretty lame.

IIRC, I've got a copy of the cryptograph for anyone who cares to take a crack at solving the treasure hunt. Here ya go...

Treasure Puzzle
​
Within the accompanying letter map puzzle, view upwards, downwards, side to side, and diagonally upwards and downwards, and diagonally backwards and forwards for clues.
Disregard 3-letter words (As these are of no significance), but take note of nouns, specifically.
If perhaps you discover the entirety of the puzzle, the subsequent clues are supposed to lead you to the location of a money strong box, which supposedly contains valuables for the discoverer.

6G6WI7V.jpg


​
Click to expand...
Count, Round. Right off.
 
Hope you guys are all having a good evening.

I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays an handed me her iPad. That fly didn;t stand a chance.
 
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