Dad Jokes

[bleujazz3]

(Irish accent) You know why there's only two hundred tirty beans in a can of Irish beans?

One more and it'd be two farty

So I told my Mom I'd study real hard and take good notes, but I ended up tossing most of my notes over my shoulder. But I seed what you did there.

 

[Freds55]

How did Santa tell his elves to check their email?

“First, yule log on…”

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you get if you cross an elf with a duck?

A: A Christmas quacker!

 

[Freds55]

What did Santa say at the start of the race?

Ready, set, ho ho ho!

 

[fcs101]

Q: How does Santa track the fireplaces he's been down?

A: He keeps a log book!

 

[Freds55]

What’s an elf’s favorite sport?

North Pole-vaulting.

 

[notalemming]

What did the elf use to help him walk after he sprained his ankle!

A candy cane.

 

[fcs101]

Q: How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

A: Deep pan, crisp, and even!

 

[Freds55]

Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?

Because he went down in history.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What are the best Christmas sweaters made of?

A: Fleece Navidad!

 

[Freds55]

Wow a week until Christmas. Can’t believe it’s almost Christmas. Hopefully we will be in our new house by February or March. And wishing everyone and Happy Healthy New Year.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!

 

[don_joe]

Wow a week until Christmas. Can’t believe it’s almost Christmas. Hopefully we will be in our new house by February or March. And wishing everyone and Happy Healthy New Year.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!

You have something to look forward to. A Christmas after Christmas.

 

[Freds55]

Thank you yes we are so looking forward to our new home.
We have been in our 35’ 5th wheel since October 10 2018.
Hurricane Michael took are old house.

Thank you for your kind words

Merry Christmas

 

[Freds55]

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?

 

[notalemming]

 

[fcs101]

Q: What does Santa eat for breakfast?

A: Frosted Flakes!

 

[notalemming]

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?

A flat miner.

 

[Freds55]

What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.

 

[Freds55]

Why is it so cold at Christmas? Because it’s in Decembrrrrrr.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What did the bald man say when someone gifted him a comb?

A: "I'll never part with it!"