Dad Jokes

As a light-hearted 'okay', I'll say to my grandkids "okeedokie artichokie"? They repeat it back to me to which I respond with "may choke Artie but it won't choke me" which is met with giggles!

I'm wondering when the humor of it is going to wear off for them, hopefully not too soon though. I enjoy getting my daughter's eye-roll when she hears it!
 
Story from a comedian I can't remember the name of:

He was boarding a flight and had placed a newspaper on his seat that he wound up sitting on. A few moments later, another passenger approached the comedian and asked if he was reading the paper. Without skipping a beat, the comedian stood up, turned the page and sat back down.
 
JoKeR III said:
Story from a comedian I can't remember the name of:

He was boarding a flight and had placed a newspaper on his seat that he wound up sitting on. A few moments later, another passenger approached the comedian and asked if he was reading the paper. Without skipping a beat, the comedian stood up, turned the page and sat back down.
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Sounds like Chris Farley!
 
JoKeR III said:
Story from a comedian I can't remember the name of:

He was boarding a flight and had placed a newspaper on his seat that he wound up sitting on. A few moments later, another passenger approached the comedian and asked if he was reading the paper. Without skipping a beat, the comedian stood up, turned the page and sat back down.
Click to expand...
That was David Brenner.
 
One bright sunny day, a teacher was asking her class, "How do we know God loves us? Jimmy?"

Jimmy replies, "Because God would allow us to stay indoors when it's 100°F in the shade?"

Teacher thinks a second. "Mary, what do you think?"

Mary says, "Because God gives us peace-of-mind and comfort when we need it?"

Teacher says, "Close. Hector?"

Hector says, "Because I know God wouldn't have named me Hector, it was my dang parents."
 
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One day, a really old guy saunters into a Dairy Queen, and lifts himself up onto the barstool.

Sigh.

Soda jerk behind the counter says, "What'll it be, Pops?"
Old guy says, "Gimme an ice cream Sunday!"
Soda guy says, "Vanilla?"
"Yep!"
"Caramel sauce?"
"Yep!"
"Sprinkles?"
"Yep!"
"Cherry?"
"Yep!"
"Crushed nuts?"
Old guy blurts out, "Heck no! Just this durned arthritis from crawling up onto this durned barstool!"
 
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