Dad Jokes

Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”​

Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?"
 

It was mandatory drug test day at my company, and we were standing in line awaiting our turn. Finally, the tester came by with his kit, took one look at me and said, "Sir, you even look stoned. Do you think you can pass this drug test"?​

"Sure, man", I said. Then I promptly grabbed the kit and passed it to the guy next to me.

Needless to say, I passed!
 
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