Dad Jokes

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a woman with an opinion?

A: Wrong

 

[fcs101]

Q: Which weighs more, a 120 lb bar of steel or a 120 lb woman?

A: The woman, they always lie about their weight.

 

[Freds55]

A cop stopped a guy for speeding...​

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," he replied.

He said, "There is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

 

[Freds55]

This one gave me a good chuckle.​

I got pulled over for speeding in my Prius​

The cop didn't give me a ticket. He just wanted to know how I did it. Lol

 

[Freds55]

How do you go over the speed limit without speeding?​

You hit the sign

 

[fcs101]

 

[fcs101]

Q: How does a woman scare her gynecologist?

A: By becoming a ventriloquist.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What’s the difference between an Archeologist and a Gynecologist?

A: They're concerned with different kinds of periods.

---

 

[fcs101]

Q: What’s the difference between a feminist and a gun?

A: A gun only has one trigger.

 

[Freds55]

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: A genealogist looks up the family tree; a gynecologist looks up the family bush Lol

 

[Freds55]

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...​

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

 

[Freds55]

My friend is buying a pregnancy test kit for his girlfriend​

Congratulations either way Lol

 

[Freds55]

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?​

Because thyme heals all wounds.

 

[DaveO]

Happy Friday!

 

[DaveO]

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why do geologists have terrible love lives?

A: They date rocks.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a bird doing its best at geometry?

A: A trying gull

 

[fcs101]

Q: How do flat earthers travel?

A: On a plane

 

[Freds55]

My Kit-Kat bar got stuck in the vending machine at work...​

...gimme a break...

 

[Freds55]

When I was visiting Mexico, I found it strange that they would keep cheese in their first aid kits.​

Turns out it was just there in queso emergency. Lol