Dad Jokes

[Freds55]

Jimmy’s firework display was a complete disaster. “I don’t understand it!” he said. "They all worked fine when I tested them yesterday."

 

[Freds55]

Hope everyone has a Happy 4th July

How are women similar to fireworks? They both look great from a distance, dangerous up close, and can be ignited by the smallest spark.

 

[DaveO]

Hope everyone has a Happy 4th July

How are women similar to fireworks? They both look great from a distance, dangerous up close, and can be ignited by the smallest spark.

Stay Safe and Have a Great 4th Day!

 

[fcs101]

Happy Independence Day peeps!!!

Q: What's the favorite drink on July 4th in the USA?

A: Sweet Liber-Tea!

 

[Freds55]

My wife asked me if I knew why our neighbour’s house had burned down. Unsure, I replied, "Fireworks?" She then replied with, "Yes, sadly it does."

 

[Freds55]

For New Year's I watched the fireworks on the TV. In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best place to light them.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What should you do with a dead chemist?

A: Barium.

 

[DaveO]

Happy Independence Day peeps!!!

Q: What's the favorite drink on July 4th in the USA?

A: Sweet Liber-Tea!

Wow that's the best graphic I've ever seen!
Happy Birthday America!
Don't let moderators

on
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[DaveO]

Q: Why did the firecracker go to the doctor on July 5th?
A: Because it was feeling a little burnt out!

 

[fcs101]

Q: Why was the chicken drunk?

A: She had too many cocktails.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call an overconfident chicken?

A: Cocky.

 

[Freds55]

What is a pig’s favorite song?
"Don’t Go Bacon My Heart."

 

[Freds55]

Why did the bacon strip laugh?
Because the fried egg cracked a yolk!

 

[Freds55]

What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz.

 

[Freds55]

What do you call a fir tree covered in bacon?
A porky-pine!

 

[Freds55]

What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would skyrocket!

 

[fcs101]

What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would skyrocket!

I was driving with the family and Rick Springfield's cover of "Black is Black" came on. After my 5 y.o. son heard the chorus he started singing:

"Black is black, I want my bacon back!"

Hilarious moment!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What's a chicken's favorite dessert?

A: A coop-cake.

 

[Freds55]

I was driving with the family and Rick Springfield's cover of "Black is Black" came on. After my 5 y.o. son heard the chorus he started singing:

"Black is black, I want my bacon back!"

Hilarious moment!

That’s pretty funny @fcs101 i got a kick out of that… I’ll bet you really got a chuckle out of that too.