Dad Jokes

[Freds55]

What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?

Nothing, he’s gladiator. Lol

 

[Freds55]

Clever.

I tried everywhere to get a Taxi home last night, all were fully booked.

So I went to the local takeaway and ordered a delivery to my address and got in with the driver.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?

A: It caused a title wave.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What did the cursed home turn into on the full moon?

A: A warehouse.

 

[Freds55]

Did you hear about the fire at the Designer Shoe Warehouse?

Countless soles were lost. Lol

 

[fcs101]

Q: Where does IKEA keep its inventory?

A: In Stockhome.

 

[fcs101]

Why are deliveries by ship called cargo but deliveries by car are called shipments?

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a building you can't locate?

A: A warehouse.

 

[Freds55]

What kind of sale was happening at the boat store?
A two-for-one sail.

 

[Freds55]

What causes some boats to become party boats?
Pier pressure.

 

[Freds55]

Have you heard about the Bluetooth iceberg?
Any ship that goes near it will sync.

 

[rossipedia]

 

[fcs101]

I'm usually very reserved in my appreciation of Jesus jokes but that is really funny!!! I've always been mystified at the places he pops up. It's like "What were you thinking?!?"

 

[Freds55]

A dentist opened an office on a boat. What was the boat’s name?
The Tooth Ferry

 

[fcs101]

Q: Did you hear the joke about the late delivery?

A: Most people don't get it.

 

[fcs101]

The pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
The realist sees a freight train.
The engineer sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call a shipment of iron?

A: Fe-mail.

 

[DaveO]

Q: What's the most frustrating part of raising sheep?

A: Every time you try to take inventory you fall asleep.

and I thought it was when your border collie went on a strike or quit!

 

[DaveO]

The pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
The realist sees a freight train.
The engineer sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

Then I woke up?

 

[Freds55]

How do you get a good deal on the boat?
When there is a sail on Lol