Dad Jokes

Q: What is the preferred mode of transportation in Aruba?

A: A scooter.

Q: What should you do if your friend asks what you want from their vacation in Aruba?

A: Just mail a postcard, thanks.

Q: Why should you be content working until you receive well-earned time-off?

A: Grapes taste better when they're sweet.

Q: What should you order from the restaurant the cab driver recommended?

A: Catch of the day. No further questions.
 
At a party, a wife got onto her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” he answered. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”
 
A man, a squirrel, and 2 bees are going on a road trip.

On the road, they run out of gas so the man pulls over. One of the bees says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” It works, until they run out of gas again.

The second bee steps up and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.” It works, until they run out of gas for the third time.

This time the squirrel chimes in and says, “Don’t worry, I’ll pee in the tank. It’ll get us a little further.”

But the man says, “Don’t bother, she only runs on BP.”
🐝🐝🐝⛽⛽⛽⛽
 
fcs101 said:
Q: Why do mathematicians like the outdoors?

A: Because of all the natural logs that are there.
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The young girl was very intelligent, and scored high grades in school.

She still asks her Dad for help with the simple algebra equations so he doesn't feel totally useless.

Young girl to Dad: What if algebra teachers are merely pirates, and they're hoping we'll help them find X?
 
So a guy was watching TV and his wife came in and said, "The car won't start. I think there's water in the carburetor."
The guy was annoyed and said, "You don't even know what a carburetor is, let me diagnose the problem...where's the car?" And his wife said, "In the pond in front of our house."
 
DaveO said:
So a guy was watching TV and his wife came in and said, "The car won't start. I think there's water in the carburetor."
The guy was annoyed and said, "You don't even know what a carburetor is, let me diagnose the problem...where's the car?" And his wife said, "In the pond in front of our house."
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At least the husband didn't drop his phone on his concrete walkway. No sense complicating a cracked screen with a dead battery. :oops:
 
DaveO said:
In most cartoons I watched, characters were able to come back from near death by having water splashed on their face.
On a completely unrelated note, I am no longer allowed at funerals…
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Your joke is sooo funny that it stopped water from flowing
It was damn funny
 
Jesus, Chuck Norris and the Pope are sitting in a boat in the middle of a lake.
They decide to get to the shore, so Jesus leaves the boat first and walks over the water to the shore.
Chuck Norris leaves second and also walks over the water to the shore.
The Pope, being baffled, also tries to take a step out of the boat but immediately falls in, so he has to swim to the shore.
Back on land the Pope asks Jesus and Chuck Norris how they were both able to walk on the water.
Jesus replies with "Oh, I should have told you about the rocks which are close to the surface of the water"
Chuck Norris then asks "What rocks?"
 
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