Biggest issues when playing with other musicians?

[NeoSound]

What have been your struggles and how did you overcome them?

For me I've always dealt with the shyness thing. I've gotten better thru the years, but it's only better because I've made myself do it.

Monitoring has been really big problem as everyone always wants to hear more of themselves, which usually starts the volume wars. A digital system where everyone has their own mix control would be great but no one I've played with has had that... yet?

Of course there's all the egos to deal with, but when playing with another guitar player it always seems to become too competitive, rather than sharing the load. How do you fix that? I've been playing P&W mostly in recent years and people usually don't say what they feel, they just bottle it up and let it come out in less obvious (sneaky?)ways!? which really drives me nuts.

 

[GibsonLesPaul]

What have been your struggles and how did you overcome them?

............

and people usually don't say what they feel, they just bottle it up and let it come out in less obvious (sneaky?)ways!? which really drives me nuts.

This ^^

I just say what I feel and think. As the other one can do also. Goal is we're there to make the band better as a whole.
Better say it when the sky is blue, instead of waiting till the thunderstorm.

 

[KevinP]

I play with another guitarist, we both checked our ego's at the beginning and we never really run in to the issue of competing. I always want to show up and make sure i know my parts, but I don't care who's playing the solo or the cool parts. Maybe that is because I also sing and don't even play on every song, but I'm happy for him to take the cooler parts and for me to just hold down the fort.

I think part of what has made all of that possible is there is no delusions of us being famous or rock stars. We all have good day jobs and play in the band for fun. I took the same approach 10 years ago when I was playing for a living, but honestly not sure I was as good at it then. Maybe it was ego, maturity, or whatever, but it is definitely easier when we're not adding that pressure to ourselves.

 

[MesaGuitarGuy]

lead-singer-itis

the lead singer shows up 5 minutes before the show starts, expecting everything to be up an running. Then they schmooze with the audience after and avoid tear down and packing up.

 

[Tsunamijuan]

What have been your struggles and how did you overcome them?

For me I've always dealt with the shyness thing. I've gotten better thru the years, but it's only better because I've made myself do it.

Monitoring has been really big problem as everyone always wants to hear more of themselves, which usually starts the volume wars. A digital system where everyone has their own mix control would be great but no one I've played with has had that... yet?

Of course there's all the egos to deal with, but when playing with another guitar player it always seems to become too competitive, rather than sharing the load. How do you fix that? I've been playing P&W mostly in recent years and people usually don't say what they feel, they just bottle it up and let it come out in less obvious (sneaky?)ways!? which really drives me nuts.

Having delt with the sound wars while running sound for bands and being crew, its become a trick to understand what someone is actually saying when they want something. I have found its usually quite different than what they are really asking for.

Though with as cheap as in ear monitors are these days, and multi channel digital mixers that can handle a small bands worth of IEM (in stereo). It really goes a long way for the volume wars, and your relationship with venues or other clients that might hire you.

My biggest issue is the inability to respect each other that often stems out of creative differences. Part of this comes with age an maturity, But its not always the case.

 

[barhrecords]

First and foremost, musicians for the most part are a flaky lot. And I'm one of them!

I've been playing in bands since the 70's. In my experience, you will find some issues with most non-professional band situations.

I still rather enjoy it and am a natural extrovert. So at this point, I don't take too many inter-band issues personally.

I prefer to bring my own powered speaker and enough kit to control my mix from the stage.

 

[s0c9]

Church drummers with no sense of timing or dynamics, and WL's who tell them they're doing great!

 

[NeoSound]

Church drummers with no sense of timing or dynamics, and WL's who tell them they're doing great!

Not only drummers - I've seen a few monsters created from unjustified praise, maybe intentions were encouragement but for whatever reason it all went wrong.

 

[1poorplayer]

lead-singer-itis

the lead singer shows up 5 minutes before the show starts, expecting everything to be up an running. Then they schmooze with the audience after and avoid tear down and packing up.

This particular ailment has several names..... bass player-itis , drummer-itis , other guitar player-itis. Lol

As far as the OP asked , I will let either guitar player take any lead they want. We use individual mixes for monitors these days ( x32,P16's, ....thank God )
I'm usually the only one to take the time to learn any intricate solos , so I get my time in the limelight. Our common goal is to sound great , so there's no argument.
It's really tough to get the right combination of guys to play music with and truly enjoy it. We've actually enjoyed it TOO much most of the time.

 

[themoonshook]

In Minnesota, where I'm from, there seems to be a cultural norm of passive-aggressiveness. This seems to hold true in band situations as well, especially in the form of constructive criticism.

A band I joined about a year and a half ago has really brought this into light as everyone in that band is completely honest and straight-forward, which is wonderfully refreshing...and rare. Two of the members are from other places originally, so maybe that has something to do with it. Anyway, open and honest communication is almost as important to us as the music we make. Contrarily, the lack of this feels very stifling and unproductive.

In our situation, being able to communicate openly like this really encourages everyone to step-up their musical game and just be very engaged in the project in general.

Good topic!

 

[ps43203]

I just spit it out, well I used to anyway. It goes a little like... no bitching no whining, no B.S. Or there is the door, don't let it hit you on the ass on the way out. Thanks.

 

[s0c9]

I just spit it out, well I used to anyway. It goes a little like... no bitching no whining, no B.S. Or there is the door, don't let it hit you on the ass on the way out. Thanks.

That may work if you are the BL, but not so much when you are not, and have a "founding member" not learning their stuff, not being prepared, and no-one wants to address the issue!

 

[Xrocker]

Other musicians.

 

[Rotti]

That may work if you are the BL, but not so much when you are not, and have a "founding member" not learning their stuff, not being prepared, and no-one wants to address the issue!

Honestly, those "founding member" or "band leader" tags are a load of crap. Founder or not, everyone has a responsibility. And a leader who doesn't do their job isn't much of a leader IMO.

I just say it, whatever it is, feelz be damned. I'm not a mind reader, I don't expect others to be, and if someone else has something to say, they had better speak up or suck it up.

 

[Codfish Oil]

Drummers who can't keep time and speed up because they're following someone else. Next!

 

[s0c9]

Honestly, those "founding member" or "band leader" tags are a load of crap. Founder or not, everyone has a responsibility. And a leader who doesn't do their job isn't much of a leader IMO.

Not really.. because those folks carry a lot of weight.. tenure counts for something, even if their original objectives no longer exist, or perhaps the drive has gone.
When you have a BL who is also a founding member, goes to the same church, has known the other "founder" since high school, it puts the "friendship" in tough position. I'm not saying it should not be addressed. As a former BL (but not in my current band) I've had to deal with that and it is not as simple as blowing off labels and relationships. That doesn't win you any friends, and in my experience often leaves you being the one leaving the band, not the offender.

 

[count_chocolat]

People that are, lazy, negative, cynical & passive aggressive really don't like me.

It's an accident waiting to happen.

 

[Rotti]

Not really.. because those folks carry a lot of weight.. tenure counts for something, even if their original objectives no longer exist, or perhaps the drive has gone.
When you have a BL who is also a founding member, goes to the same church, has known the other "founder" since high school, it puts the "friendship" in tough position. I'm not saying it should not be addressed. As a former BL (but not in my current band) I've had to deal with that and it is not as simple as blowing off labels and relationships. That doesn't win you any friends, and in my experience often leaves you being the one leaving the band, not the offender.

I can't speak to the church band situation. It's one I don't put myself into, but I could see a certain "staying power" with tenure as you mentioned.

But equally, if issues can't be addressed clearly and openly, it's not a situation I care to be in anyhow. I'd choose walking away over dealing with passive aggressiveness. The same can be said of the friendships I pursue, and you're right, it doesn't win me many, but the ones I have would go to bat for me in a pinch and vice versa. I choose quality over quantity every single time.

This is just me, and your situation & priorities might be very different. I love to play, but at the end of the day this is only a hobby for me, and I'd rather not share it with people who ruin the experience for me. If you value being in whatever group you're in more (along with whatever benefits or averted confrontations might come with that position), well, more power to you.

 

[dpeterson]

No real cure besides finding the people you get a long with. I learned early on I dont like playing with other guitar players. Too many issues, so the answer is one. Volume wars, got really tired of this, solution was a few fold: 1) jamhub and electric drums for practice, everyone direct, gets their own mix, problem solved. 2) Live, bought an x32 and splitter snake, and wireless iems, plop app on everyones phone, show them how to set it and done. No volume wars.

I still run into the singer-itus, where he just stands there. I know how to setup stuff, and am smart with that kind of thing, so it gets dumped on me. Right now it's getting better, he's learning. Been through 3 bassists in this band, finally found one that is not an idiot. It's slim pickings around here for good musicians on the same page as you.

 

[BBN]

lead-singer-itis

the lead singer shows up 5 minutes before the show starts, expecting everything to be up an running. Then they schmooze with the audience after and avoid tear down and packing up.

Like other folks said....this is not a lead singer disease.
I'm the lead singer. I own the (multiple) PA's. I do all the booking. I own/update the website. I host rehearsals at my house and provide professional drums and amps for everyone.

Bands are all about finding the good people (that are also good musicians).
I have fun with my guys because all have realistic expectations for the band, and nobody is selfish.
That is where the trouble starts....selfish people that will overplay to please themselves instead of thinking about what the audience and band members will enjoy.

If the people suck.....find something else.