Who Else Struggles With Their Nerves?

phillyred79 said:
I think "bombing" in front of an audience multiple times is the best thing that can happen.. Usually you hear that word used for comedians, but it works for a lot of things.. The pressure we put on ourselves far exceeds that of what we think the audience expects so we psych ourselves out.
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It can be a good thing. It's sort of like in football the QB sometimes settles down after he gets hit the first time.

One thing I've realized is that the audience WANTS you to succeed. Think about any concert you've been to and you know that's true. Just that knowledge can alleviate some pressure.
 
It's also good to remind ourselves that we are literally NOT the center of the universe.
Most people are self-absorbed, and chronically so. Other people are NOT thinking
about us. They are thinking about themselves. :)

So if and when we f**k up they probably won't even notice, because they will literally
be eye-balling some guy or gal, or wondering if they have something stuck in their teeth,
or blaming Good for yet another f'ed up hair day, or why that waitress has not yet returned
with their order.

I say shock the mother-f'ers with some feedback and atonality. Then they might start to look
at the stage.

Have your attention now???!!!! :)
 
la noise said:
Have your attention now???!!!!
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I once was in a band and, when we would occasionally play for an somewhat apathetic crowd, we'd pick a weird chord (say C#dim) and end every song on that chord, no matter what the key or style of the song, for the rest of the night. That would get their attention...albeit very briefly heh. I'd love the strange, disgusted looks we'd get from some people.
 
While I don't have any problem with nerves, strangely, I do feel bit more 'on-the-spot' and discombobulated when there are three people sitting six feet away in the rehearsal studio vs a large festival numbering in the hundreds/thousands. I feel they are intently studying my habits, waiting to strike lol.
 
when playing live I easier get cramps in my left hand fingers, so guess this is related to tension "under the hood" and due the fact that I do play live only occasionally. When we had 2-3 performances close to another, before Covid, this tends to cease. Guess that's the way it is for me. Also I noted that songs where I have difficulties to remember the structure in detail get solidly and durably anchored" after a first live performance.

"Something is going on, but you don't know what it is, do you, Mr Jones"
 
la szum said:
It's also good to remind ourselves that we are literally NOT the center of the universe.
Most people are self-absorbed, and chronically so. Other people are NOT thinking
about us. They are thinking about themselves. :)

So if and when we f**k up they probably won't even notice, because they will literally
be eye-balling some guy or gal, or wondering if they have something stuck in their teeth,
or blaming Good for yet another f'ed up hair day, or why that waitress has not yet returned
with their order.

I say shock the mother-f'ers with some feedback and atonality. Then they might start to look
at the stage.

Have your attention now???!!!! :)
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Regards hecklers, the way my friend coped with it was he played an old Django folk tune, followed by a Martin Taylor tune, "Musette to a Magpie."

Concluding his performance, my friend said, "Thanks for letting me play on your fine stage. With the host's permission, I hope to join you again soon."

The host, not missing a beat, said "Sorry, you're too good for us. How much was that CD of yours again?"

The whole audience cracked up. And my friend, although hecklers were asking if harmonica went with his tune, didn't heckle him once he finished.
 
To the original post, I don't think you are unique in this regard. Started gigging again last year and our first show I was literally light headed and shaking. 15 minutes before the show there was like maybe 20 people. 15 minutes later over 100.

Played a bunch of gigs sense then (one last night in fact). I still get nervous every time as we get up there by my first or second song, but it fades quickly now and no more light headed terror like the first one.

I think the best thing you can do it practice your songs a lot so you have the utmost confidence in your ability to play them, but after that I think it is merely facing down your fears and putting yourself in those uncomfortable position of playing in front of people till the nerves subside.
 
Everyone has some level of nervousness when they walk up and start playing. If it's something you can't get past then don't do it. Everyone here has given you plenty of suggestions for how to overcome it. Typically practice, practice, practice, until you can't screw it up, helps a lot. But don't put yourself in a situation that you don't enjoy. For a lot of us, playing music is fun and we don't make a living from it.

Millions of people play the guitar. No matter how good you think you are, there's always someone better, get over it. That doesn't matter to the people listening to you. They're not sitting there critiquing you on your technique and ability, they just want to hear a tune and have a drink. Yes there will occasionally be that elitist guitar player that thinks you have to play a certain way, using a certain technique, or amp, or whatever else they come up with. Screw them. Life's too short to let people like that ruin your good time. I've got to the point in my life where I tell people to !@#$ off. Hmmm, I think I got to that point a long time ago... I'm just admitting it now.
 
Admin M@ said:
I suspect that fear and stress constitute one of the reasons that substance abuse seems so common among celebrities. I've seen it up close in friends.
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Bingo bingo bingo.....I have seen the same.
"I can't go on stage without a few shots"....turns into, well....now my friend is an alcoholic and been to rehab multiple times.

I don't know anyone who doesn't have some anxiety when playing live.
I manage it by trying to convince myself that "I'm supposed to be here... and people want to watch me/us perform....so just do your best."

I have this conversation with friends too - the only time I'm relaxed at a gig, is when it's over and I'm packing up. Every moment before and during the show - I'm not.
 
I studied classical guitar in college. Nothing was more nerve wrecking than going into a concert hall BY YOURSELF and playing on stage. You provide every note by yourself and if anything is off - rhythm, pitch, tone - it all falls directly on you.

After that, I lost all sense of nerves and have become a showman in the live band situation. The only time i get nervous now is on my first gig with a new band, and even then it doesn’t compare in the slightest to going on stage as a soloist.
 
Preparation yes. Almost 20 years ago I decided I wanted to get on stage and play one gig and I would have reached my goal. I was scared shitless. Up to that gig I knew lots of key parts to many songs but no song all the way through. Got 10 songs under my belt and got a gig for the band. First song was a little rough but the rest were fine. Fast forward 20 years and many gigs….. One thing that helps me is to stay busy. I run our bands PA etc…. I don’t have any time to be nervous…. LOL…..
 
Amparkmusic said:
I studied classical guitar in college. Nothing was more nerve wrecking than going into a concert hall BY YOURSELF and playing on stage. You provide every note by yourself and if anything is off - rhythm, pitch, tone - it all falls directly on you.

After that, I lost all sense of nerves and have become a showman in the live band situation. The only time i get nervous now is on my first gig with a new band, and even then it doesn’t compare in the slightest to going on stage as a soloist.
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There is nothing so unnerving as playing solo.
 
I been fooling around a little on Reddit's RPAN just using the phone. I streamed through the sessions channel and had my camera focused in on a lava lamp. They kicked me off due to forum rules that live performances need musician or instrument visible. I told them I had stage fright and was using RPAN to try to challenge that. They allow me to stream under social distancing stream without being in view. First times were tough, thinking too much about it, and not able to concentrate on what I was trying to play...stage fright. Starting to get better. I will eventually focus the camera on just the guitar. I dont want to show my identity, not that it matters... just weird. I delete it after I'm done because I dont want anyone stealing my chops... I'm fooling around with original stuff. Usually have 10-20 people watching, and 400-500 views. People flip through different live streams and my stop for a second and keep flipping, some stay long time.
Seems to be helpful. I just play for me, and not in a band because of stage fright and I dont feel like it. But I wanted to challenge my inner issues.
 
BaronVonGrim said:
I been fooling around a little on Reddit's RPAN just using the phone. I streamed through the sessions channel and had my camera focused in on a lava lamp. They kicked me off due to forum rules that live performances need musician or instrument visible. I told them I had stage fright and was using RPAN to try to challenge that. They allow me to stream under social distancing stream without being in view. First times were tough, thinking too much about it, and not able to concentrate on what I was trying to play...stage fright. Starting to get better. I will eventually focus the camera on just the guitar. I dont want to show my identity, not that it matters... just weird. I delete it after I'm done because I dont want anyone stealing my chops... I'm fooling around with original stuff. Usually have 10-20 people watching, and 400-500 views. People flip through different live streams and my stop for a second and keep flipping, some stay long time.
Seems to be helpful. I just play for me, and not in a band because of stage fright and I dont feel like it. But I wanted to challenge my inner issues.
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If you've ever recorded yourself, it might accomplish the same thing. I sense a difference when I'm recording vs. not. You wouldn't think it should matter, but it does. In the words of Steve Lukather (in an interview by Joe Bonamassa), "Can you do it when the red light is on?".
 
fcs101 said:
If you've ever recorded yourself, it might accomplish the same thing. I sense a difference when I'm recording vs. not. You wouldn't think it should matter, but it does. In the words of Steve Lukather (in an interview by Joe Bonamassa), "Can you do it when the red light is on?".
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Yes.... probably can classify different types of performance anxieties and mental distractions.
 
TSJMajesty said:
I've always had issues with getting nervous when playing for others. I have to get control of it sort of in stages. First, I have to get comfortable just playing in front of someone, anyone, even if it's just a friend who comes over. Then, it's rehearsing with other musicians. Then it's getting on stage to play. Then it'll be that challenging solo.

Until I can get past this "stage-fright" thing, it's so bad my hands will literally shake. I cannot help it. But as I get comfortable along each step of the way, it passes, and I get control of it. But it takes a lot of times doing it. Like if I was to get together with some new guys, say if I were to audition for a band, I'd have to play with them several times before my nerves would relax. And it wouldn't even matter if I happened to be the best musician in the room. Once I get to the point where I'm always relaxed during rehearsals, then the same kind of nervousness gets me all over again the first time we play out. Fortunately it's not as bad as when I first play with a band, but it still takes several songs before I settle down, and many gigs before it all but goes away.

So tonight I tried for the 2nd time to make just a simple, short video on my phone, and my hands started shaking til I was just fucking up. Just making a stupid phone VIDEO!! I can't even convince myself mentally that it's no big deal, because if I don't get it right, I can delete the video, and do it again! UFB! The only thing that makes it go away is repetition. Being able to play whatever it is at a tempo beyond my comfort zone helps, but is still no guarantee. I hate this part of me.

I'm sure I'm not alone in dealing with nerves, so I'm curious to what extent this issue affects others, and how you deal with it. Because if I do end up getting back into playing with other musicians, in any capacity, I want to get this under control. At least a lot better than it is. It surprises my musician friends that I get it as bad as I do.
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Moi. 🙋‍♂️
 
I used to get really nervous when playing in front of people. I found my footing with two things; playing consistently and being so practiced that I didn't have to focus on my guitar at all and just had fun. Thankfully I was introduced to Dimebag/Pantera via the home videos really early in my band days and I'm more influenced by that guy's spirit/fun loving attitude than his playing. Whether I'd be messing with my friends onstage and trying to screw them up or just enjoying the music we were playing (lots of Metallica back then), those were my happy places.

For years I didn't think I'd be able to get into the music onstage unless it were metal, but in the cover band I'm in now I'm having just as much fun playing Harry Styles songs as I ever did anything else. I was especially that way after writing original music and gigged my first original band for several years. When that band imploded I wasn't sure if I'd ever have that much fun onstage again and while it hasn't been as fun consistently as it was with that band (we used to drink a LOT and our shows were just big parties with our friends and co-workers) I still have a great time, even without the booze involved.

Also, I've bombed onstage so many times, on vocals and guitar, there's really nothing left for me to be concerned about, I already know what that's like.

I never dealt with Red Light Syndrome, the studio has always been my favorite place to be, but I think it goes back to being so rehearsed that I knew I wouldn't fuck up and instead of paying attention to everything I'm playing, I go on autopilot and just focus on the click. For 6 years I thought I'd be content never playing live again because I was enjoying the studio so much, but eventually I got the itch to play guitar live again.

One thing I used to do when I was purposefully trying to be more interactive with the audience/make eye contact was just staring straight through the audience. Whether or not someone was in my line of sight wasn't the point, because I'd have my attention behind them or to the sides, but it looked like I was looking right at them.
 
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