Or continue gnashing your teeth and trying to grind Jay into the ground for not giving up a lifetime of experience and knowledge in a post on a forum. Folks grinding on Jay for free consultation here and then bashing him about for even speaking up? Bad form.
Flabbergasted at the entitlement of some folks.
I don't know if this is partially, or totally directed at me, but I think it was myself and one other taking Jay to task, and that was about it, so I'm guessing that you might be talking about me here. So, let me clarify a few things:
- I personally am NOT trying to get Jay to give up a lifetime of experience. Never asked him to at all. I asked a pretty simple, general question that started all of this, and prefaced it with certain statements so that hopefully they would NOT be misinterpreted. A preemptive measure that some ignored or gave no credence to. Whatever. They ignored it and this was the result. Just as I had feared, and why I posted it to begin with. Sigh.
- I'm not grinding for free consultation. I understand he doesn't have to answer a damned thing, and I do not in any way, shape, or form feel like I am entitled to an answer either. I
already made that abundantly clear. I DO feel entitled to civil, non-accusatory, even-handed interactions unless I start something myself. Thats
NOT what I got.
- I am not bashing him for speaking up or anyone for speaking up, I called him out for speaking
rudely when it was completely uncalled for. That is all.
I admit I do have a problem when it seems like someone is using their unique position of power or knowledge as a shield that allows them to act arrogantly or any way they see fit, ESPECIALLY when it is in disrespect towards others and completely uncalled for, and/or when others create the environment that allows the behavior to ocurr because everyone is too scared to speak up. I also realize that sometimes the person using their position of power to allow for unfettered bad behavior may also not realize exactly what they are doing (that too is
their issue though).
There seems to be a great deal of "this guy knows SO much. If he is an ass, so what, we are lucky to have him here, so we will give him a free pass on being an arrogant ass, cause we don't care about those he acts poorly towards as much as we care about the priviledge of having him here" And that statement is NOT directed solely at Jay, or even this forum. I see this ALL the time. Hell, I see it at work. I'll see an engineer who is really smart act like a complete dick to his co-workers. His manager gives him a free pass on his arrogance and poor attitude that he would never give to another engineer. The thought is "he is so great, I don't want to discipline him cause he might leave".
Thats not managing. Its cowardice and lack of character on the part of the manager, and lack of character on behalf of the engineer. A real life example. At my work, a few years back we had 2 teams of engineers working together to create a product. On team A there was such a guy. His name was Mike. Mike was never an ass to me. He had known me as a coworker for about 10 years+ and I guess he respected me to a certain extent. Or he liked me as I am a no bullshit kind of guy. I'm not sure which. Doesn't matter. I personally witnessed him raise his voice at and insult and demoralize people on team B because he felt they were stupid, or asked stupid questions. Sometimes he simply made snide remarks, or remarks out of a place of complete arrogance, and sometimes he was way over the board insulting to the people on team B. At one point I talked to his manager. I explained that it was not personal. I had never had a problem with him, but his treatment of others on team B was completely inappropriate for a work environment (or really any other). It was completely unprofessional, lacked decorum, to put it mildly. I was answered with "yeah I know, but thats just Mike. You know how he is" I met this resistance all over. Because he was such an excellent engineer people were always willing to overlook his sometimes abusive behavior and give him a free pass. This attitude was everywhere. I was disgusted by it. None of our damned managers knew shit about leading people. That was their job, and they couldn't do it. They were spineless and shouldn't have been in their positions (why there were is a whole other thread - lets just say they were in their management positions because of their experience as engineers, and NOT because of their ability to manage squat). So what happened? Well Mike's attitude eventually permeated through Team A. Other engineers on team A, while not taking to verbally berating team B members in front of coworkers, would definitely take an arrogant attitude towards team B "because they can" and no one would do shit about it. The eventual outcome of all of this piss-poor leadership, and even worse behavior by the team A engineers was that the 2 teams that were supposed to be working together for a common goal developed an antagonistic attitude towards each other, and the resulting product was weak to put it politely. It wasn't even close to living up to its potential. Both sides blamed each other. While I was on team B I had no problem with any of the team A members save one who decided to complain to his manager about me by quite literally making stuff up about me. I never got that because *I* was the one who in the past had DEFENDED him to my other team members. No good deed goes unpunished. I saw what had happened and was disgusted with the people, their attitudes, and management's complete lack of ability to lead. I left the team for one in a completely different area. My engineering days were over. Not too long after I left, under the strain of the animosity, both teams ended up br4eaking up and losing a lot of team members. I guess they decided that I had the right idea in leaving for another dept.
None of that needed to happen.
The point of that is not really to complain about management but to show that ANYWHERE allowing poor behavior to continue and not speaking up about it because "that guy is SO good, and we need him" is not a way to progress and make for a harmonious environment.
If I got into a discussion on general or specific relativity with Einstein, I would NEVER challenge him on an academic level. It would be a ridiculous proposition. However, if he were an ass, I would CERTAINLY challenge him on a HUMAN level. And I would have every right to do so, and we would be on at least equal footing.
Look I call them like I see them. And I willingly admit that thanks to this medium in which intentions can be sometimes easily misunderstood, I see them wrong sometimes. When I can see the potential for that coming, I try to head things off at the pass (saying things like "this is not a challenge, I am asking out of true curiosity" etc.). If someone chooses to ignore that, then problems can being. Not my fault, for the most part anyway. Sometimes, being human, I fail in that respect. However, unlike many, I try REAL hard to be a man about it and admit my mistakes. Unfortunately, not everyone else does. And no, I'm not directing these comments to Jay or anyone on this forum. I am saying these things as a generalization of myself. However, I can't help it if you're so vain, you probably think these words are about you.
LOL
And I do apologize for my part in almost hijacking this thread. It was never my intention, but I'm not gonna be "stepped on" (for lack of a better term) and just take it, no matter who its from.