Dad Jokes

[Freds55]

Haha! I like that one.

We have a legit Curling Club and Arena in the town I live in.

I have family in Canada always loved curling. Still love watching it on tv Really loved playing Hockey growing up.

You must be somewhere in the great Northwest then?

Really have been enjoying all these makes me smile.

 

[Freds55]

What kind of shoes do burglars wear?

Sneakers.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What's the best way to cook gator?

A: In a crock pot!!!

 

[Freds55]

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

 

[Freds55]

A magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.

He says, “uno...dos...” and then poof he disappeared without a tres. Lol

 

[fcs101]

Two guys walked into a bar...the third guy ducked!

 

[Freds55]

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me. Lol

 

[ZipGun68]

Blind man out on his morning walk, passes by a fish market - says "Good Morning Ladies"

 

[Freds55]

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, If I'm talking to my drugs,

I probably already said yes. Lol

 

[TSJMajesty]

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, If I'm talking to my drugs,

I probably already said yes. Lol

 

[fcs101]

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, If I'm talking to my drugs,

I probably already said yes. Lol

 

[fcs101]

Q: What does a Canadian put on his steak?

A: Eh 1!

 

[Freds55]

Loving the jokes guys

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus.

And I lost my job as a bus driver!

 

[Freds55]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

 

[Freds55]

Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

 

[TSJMajesty]

Loving the jokes guys

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus.

And I lost my job as a bus driver!

That was a clever, (if not unintentional) setup. I was about to wish you congratulations. haha

 

[Freds55]

I’m sitting here just Lmao. These darn jokes have tickled my funny bone tonight…

 

[TSJMajesty]

Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

If we're going there...

A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."

Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the 11.

 

[IFITYWYBMAD?]

What to you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob

What to call the same guy hanging on the wall? Art

Same guy in an oven? Chuck

 

[fcs101]

What to you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob

What to call the same guy hanging on the wall? Art

Same guy in an oven? Chuck

On your door step? Matt