Tahoebrian5
Fractal Fanatic
To really reduce it down to the very last granule of core truth, is the OP's goals the same as his Ivan Broski's? If they're really his best friends they can sit down and have that talk, handle critiquing each other and themselves. Do they all share the same satisfaction of "it's good enough"? It doesn't appear so. Hopefully OP can say to his friends and bandmates in a band meeting (no **** sit down, no instruments, no distractions, neutral site) that he's not satisfied with the level of effort and that he wants to step it up a notch, and then another notch after that, and keep pushing. *If and only if* that's his goal. If his goals don't match the bands, then it's logical to seek situations where the outcomes align with the goals. That's where the "life is too short" statement comes from.
That's not unreasonable. We should all be doing that in everything we do. And that's why the discourse here has elevated beyond the click track, which should be a non-issue.
I agree to some extent with most of your points. If you are in the band to try to make a career out of it, it's so tough to make it in the music industry today you need to be brutal. But if you are doing it for fun and maybe a bit extra money from local gigging than it's worth putting up with differences to play with people you enjoy spending time with.