Anyone else suffer a little bit from Imposter Syndrome?

The description you gave yourself describes me to a tee. Except for the advanced player part, I’m a mediocre player at best. I haven’t played out with a band since the early 90s.
I got back into playing about a decade ago. Bought, sold and traded up until I have a nice little collection of very nice guitars and my AxeIII.
There’s no better stress relief after a day of work than jamming out in the man cave. I get a smile every time.
 
I do have a big ego and I deserve the best gear, so I buy Fractal products! ;)

Edit: Everybody deserves an Axe-Fx!
 
Absolutely. I'm not a professional guitarist, but I've played since 1988. I put the guitar down when I was 25 and picked it up again when I was 38. That was twelve years ago. I've played on seven albums since as primary rhythm and lead guitarist, written music and played for years in a guitar ensemble. I've had friends' bands come to me for guest solos on their albums. I've taken years of lessons from session-quality guitarists. One of my teachers has a Masters in jazz guitar performance from the University of North Texas. He's played in the three and six o'clock lab bands and has subbed in the one o'clock. Let me tell you, all guitar knowledge and ability I have is dwarfed by his. He is proficient in multiple styles, whereas I primarily play rock and metal and dabble in jazz. Still, for a middle aged computer programmer, I am light years ahead of my peers who buy expensive guitars and have little ability to play them.

I realized that guitar is for me, not for others. I'm the ultimate judge of my musicianship. I'm not competing with others to get a slot in a band or get a job with this. "I'm the best guitarist in my house" is my mantra.

Writing music on my own, conquering a Joe Satriani solo, learning a chord-melody jazz standard or learning a new technique is how I measure my success. That's all that matters.
 
When it comes down to it all your gear, everything you write, has to first of all work for you on some cathartic level. I know people who love to gig just to keep performing, and they do lots of weddings and fairs etc... They make money and all that, but that's not for me, I fund my gear with my own business, and I use it for either my own music or serving God on worship teams. It can actually be tough to learn to write 100% for yourself, and not care what others think, to let your music say what only you want to say, play what you hear, and to fight the urges to play more notes here and there so the world will know you can play faster.... at the end of the day does music and gear help you make life more bearable and give you some meaning? Nothing compares to my relationship with God as far as giving me "meaning" but music is a close second. I absolutely love the process of having a melody express something you lived through with no words... so don't worry about what others think about any of it. Take care of your family and put food on the table, but treat yourself like you are worth taking care of as well. And part of that is a new guitar :)
 
HuskyInfantry said:
Hey friends, this is just a word vomit of my thoughts, but maybe some of you can relate.

I'm 27, and I've been playing for nearly two decades now. I'm definitely considered a good/advanced musician, but by no means am I something unique or amazing. I've played through budget gear most of my life, despite "outgrowing" a lot it very quickly. But I'm not one to take on the presumption that cheap gear is only for beginners. Of course dream gear is a lot more motivating to play though.

After selling off all of my pedals and amp to fund the AxeIII and FC12, I'm 300% satisfied with my sound and how much power I have at my disposal. I whipped up a great edge of breakup preset with a Dumble and a Klon replica (might as well create the dream ultra-expensive rig, right?).

But I can't help but feel like I don't deserve it. I don't play in a band (as much as I'd like to be), and my jam sessions with buddies only happen a couple times a month. Even at my jam sessions we tend to stick to only one or two sounds.

Otherwise I've just got all the gear set up in my home studio where I record backing tracks and just jam out by myself. I've got a Maschine pad controller, MIDI keyboard, a dozen guitars, and now this Axe-- all for just jamming by myself. I keep telling myself I should tastefully video record some stuff and start posting it to YT, or find some sort of niche thing I can make reviews/tutorials of, but I know I'll most likely be just another fish in the sea.

I'm not unhappy or anything. I love this community, I love my gear, and I love making music, even if that just means I spend an hour playing the same riff over and over again. Sometimes I just catch myself asking, "what's the point of all of this?". It's usually just a fleeting thought, and it goes away once I crank the gain and turn up the volume.
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Yes, you most definitely do not deserve it…..send the Axe III and FC-12 directly to me, and you will absolutely feel better and so will I. ;)
 
Great thread! I'm a mediocre player who for the first time in decades has something remotely approaching good tone. (Actually I didn't even know what good tone was all about until I got the Axe.) Like others, I'm not bothered about spending $ on good equipment for my main hobby.
HuskyInfantry said:
... I love making music, even if that just means I spend an hour playing the same riff over and over again. Sometimes I just catch myself asking, "what's the point of all of this?".
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You never know where that practiced riff will take you, even years down the road. I still get the joy of playing occasional gigs using stuff I learned for no good reason many decades ago.
mattgreenrocks said:
“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” - Chesterton
I love this quote, because everything I love doing I started doing badly.
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I recently watched a program about an aging Japanese potter who has tirelessly kept making his designs over and over for decades. When asked why he was so compelled to keep making even more of what he's already made, he said "I don't make them because I can make one, but because I can't make one". I must play, because I can't play; maybe this next try I'll finally get it!
 
I came of age just about when Yngwie blew up the guitar scene. While I loved playing, I quickly realized that it was utterly beyond me to approach the technical prowess of the unending stream of virtuosos that followed in his wake....so, aside from noodling a bit, I pretty much gave up.

Fast forward through a career of corporate grind and raising a couple of kids to a newly retired bloke who hadn't touched an instrument with any dedication in ages. Through extraordinary luck, I got drawn into a series of projects with players carrying decades of experience, music degrees, etc. I just kept giving it my best shot without any pretense that I was even slightly competent. Much to my surprise, people liked what I was doing. I still don't really know why, nor do I care. I just love making music.

There's no way I could justify the gear I own, but I don't feel any need to....although I'm certain that everyone on this thread is a better musician than I am. :cool:
 
I've heard the term "blues lawyer", referring to someone with more money than talent. That's me, though properly a blues doctor. Yet, I thoroughly enjoy it and continue to gradually get better. The comment above about occasionally deserving a new guitar - holding on that, in the past year have gotten my Axe FX3 mark 2 and a Relish Mary LTD.
 
I can appreciate the imposter syndrome feelings as it’s something I experience a lot. (It even keeps me from posting on the forum despite having some knowledge and experience to contribute).

In recent years with some significant life changes I’ve realised a few things.

Time is short.

Spend it doing things you enjoy.

If that means playing guitar at any level of skill or experience on good quality gear then do it.

Time spent missing out on something because I don’t think I’m worthy is definitely time I’ve wasted.

If you can have nice things while taking good care of yourself and your loved ones then do it.

I can generate more money but I can’t generate more time.
 
Fwiw, the money in your account is the only requirement for having nice/a lot of/any gear for any hobby. Credit for those who dare lol.

In high school there were twin brothers who worshipped zakk wylde. There I was with my gibson les paul (studio, black w/ gold hardware) and my tube amp. Them, a shared epi LP standard and marshall MG.

Guess who sounded better? The guys who worshipped zakk. Why? Their phrasing and technique was much more developed.

Gear is a reflection of what you're interested in and your financial decisions, not how good you are. Someone mentioned retired; on a previous board, a retiree bought a brand new gibson LP and marshall halfstack to finally learn. Why? He had the money.

Related, "blues lawyer memes" on instagram is good for a chuckle. I posted a vid of "final frontier 3" preset - definitely not normal use for 5 figures of equipment hahaha.
 
I was born to love and play music, of that I'm convinced, however, I sometimes feel guilty about it, but for different reasons than yours.

As a very young child, somewhere between learning to talk, and learning to read, my absolute favorite thing in the world to do was visit my grandmother and my aunt (still living at home as she is only 10 years older than me, so she was an early teen at this time), and as soon as I walked through the door, ask Aunt Bee if I could play her records (the answer was always yes.) I remember bringing her the 45's (google it kids ;)) to ask her which side I liked (the hit single side), because I didn't know how to read yet. My love of music started really early.

As a pre-teen, I used to sit with my tape recorder just waiting for my favorite song to come on the radio so I could record it, hoping just once, the DJ wouldn't talk over the intro.

As a teen I would chart every song, every week, on Casy Kasim's American Top 40, turning on the tape recorder when we had to leave for church.

In 6th grade I started playing the Clarinet; in 9th I was 1st chair, 1st Clarinet in the MD All-State band. But by then I really disliked it, wanting instead to play guitar.

Bought a Silverburst LP Custom at 16 with my own grass-cutting money. Then the many bands started. I should've gone on to study music, but due to my parents' divorce, things didn't turn out that way.

But I've had a great career that has enabled me to buy pretty much whatever I want, and since I help out those less fortunate than me, I have no guilt about that (buying that Majesty at the left last year did make me a little nervous...), other than it does get in the way of other things in life that I know I need to stop putting off. But that's how much I love it.

I have a small-ish twinge of guilt when I hear friends tell me I'm "too good" to not be playing in a band. But I hate all the BS that comes with bands. Plus, my chops aren't where I want them to be, mostly due to too much sex, drugs, & Rock-n-Roll in my 20's & 30's (and my own divorce), but I'm making up for lost time now.

Couple hours ago UPS delivered my new FC-12 and EV-1, and buying them kinda makes me lament not being in a band, but who knows...

I say, if it gives you enjoyment, you're not stealing from yourself or your family, and you're balancing your gear acquisitions with planning for the future, and hopefully giving some back, then DO NOT ever think you don't "deserve it." I know I deserve it for all the reasons above, and the fact that I work very hard for the money I earn, so I can spend a portion of it on things that give me great enjoyment.

I do wish I did some things differently, but I can't change that, so I'm extremely happy with just playin my guitar through my Axe Fx III, while learning more about it, and improving myself as a player, simply for my own satisfaction. Good topic, and sorry (not sorry!:D) if that was too much info. ;)
 
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