Anyone else suffer a little bit from Imposter Syndrome?

HuskyInfantry

HuskyInfantry

Member
Hey friends, this is just a word vomit of my thoughts, but maybe some of you can relate.

I'm 27, and I've been playing for nearly two decades now. I'm definitely considered a good/advanced musician, but by no means am I something unique or amazing. I've played through budget gear most of my life, despite "outgrowing" a lot it very quickly. But I'm not one to take on the presumption that cheap gear is only for beginners. Of course dream gear is a lot more motivating to play though.

After selling off all of my pedals and amp to fund the AxeIII and FC12, I'm 300% satisfied with my sound and how much power I have at my disposal. I whipped up a great edge of breakup preset with a Dumble and a Klon replica (might as well create the dream ultra-expensive rig, right?).

But I can't help but feel like I don't deserve it. I don't play in a band (as much as I'd like to be), and my jam sessions with buddies only happen a couple times a month. Even at my jam sessions we tend to stick to only one or two sounds.

Otherwise I've just got all the gear set up in my home studio where I record backing tracks and just jam out by myself. I've got a Maschine pad controller, MIDI keyboard, a dozen guitars, and now this Axe-- all for just jamming by myself. I keep telling myself I should tastefully video record some stuff and start posting it to YT, or find some sort of niche thing I can make reviews/tutorials of, but I know I'll most likely be just another fish in the sea.

I'm not unhappy or anything. I love this community, I love my gear, and I love making music, even if that just means I spend an hour playing the same riff over and over again. Sometimes I just catch myself asking, "what's the point of all of this?". It's usually just a fleeting thought, and it goes away once I crank the gain and turn up the volume.
 
biggness said:
If you can afford it without a negative effect to you or your family, then enjoy it.

This is your life. Live it.
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For sure. It's less about the monetary value, and more about how I wish I could just be on a stage using all of this gear to it's full potential.
 
Many of us cut our teeth pushing our gear to the limits, and pushing our playing past those limits. It’s a great sense of achievement to make good music with limited gear. Now we have no practical limits on our rig, and it can feel like we’re not fighting and conquering anymore, but just getting handed great sounds on a silver platter. Because we are! We inherited a mansion rather than building our own hut out of sticks and leaves.

But that’s ok. It just means there are new territories for us to conquer. I’m working on my picking now that I can actually hear it!
 
I'm 55, and not a good/advanced musician either, though I have played in several bands since I was a teenager. Now I only play at home. When I started, for many years I played with borrowed and with DIY equipment because I could not afford it. Now that I can, I do not compromise with quality. Some like to spend their money in expensive cars, tuning cars, collecting loaded weapons, fine wine, and all kind of things. We like to spend our spare money in fine gear, to enjoy the nice sound and feelings coming from the guitar. Nothing wrong with that. We have earned our salaries, and we deserve to spend our money in what we love.
 
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I feel ya. I still can't believe they let me vote, eat ice cream for breakfast if I want, pay bills, walk around, and touch other consenting adults in their bathing suit parts. I've had pretty bad imposter syndrome most of my adult life.

Regardless, it helps to stop comparing yourself to others; even unconsciously. Then you play the gear because you like it and can affor it and it inspires you without the comparison that tends to exacerbate imposter syndrome.
 
Short answer: No!

Nobody needs to "deserve" gear. In the end gear is just "stuff", nothing important. You deserve love, happiness, … everything the universal declaration of human rights lists. If something like an AxeFX gives you something toward that goal without taking anything, go for it.
 
I’ve been a musician most of my life. I’ve played with many of the top musicians in the world. Am I really happy? I am with my Axe Fx III and my boutique guitar. That’s kind of all I need. Other peoples adulation I don’t need anymore because it gets you nowhere in life. It doesn’t make you a better person it’s only a temporary stopgap measure on your self-esteem. It’s just best to enjoy playing the guitar eat a sandwich and hang out with good people. IMO
 
I don't really believe in imposter syndrome, just overly inflated egos. I myself try to welcome the chance to have my own ego knocked back to reality every chance I get. This never stops me from enjoying life and in fact once I recalibrate I find humility to be an improvement.

Meanwhile, as for what one "deserves" or not, this is quite a big philosophical question that could veer pretty easily into politics and religion, which we don't talk about on this forum.
 
"Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone"

Holds true for many things in life.... especially the material things. It's the stuff you can't put a price on that brings true happiness.

My father, who I miss dearly, put it best.
"Boy, if you can put dollars and cents to your problems...you don't have any problems."

I thought he was crazy. It wasn't until the year he died I finally understood.
 
Music should bring enjoyment, whether listening or playing.

If gear like the Axe FX is bringing you even more enjoyment and making you want to play more it doesn't matter how much it costs does it? If you can afford it there can be no issue.
 
Relative to my budget, I am probably the world’s worst avid guitar player. And trust me, this is not false modesty. I’m a copycat player not a musician. I love learning songs from tabs and playing to backing tracks for my own enjoyment. I’m being literal when I say that I think when I finally learn a new song or master a new riff, it hits the chemical pleasure center of my brain the way chocolate or maybe other substances do for some people.

[I’ve played live before an audience once in my life (last Feb) and if I posted the video, you would laugh. A buddy asked if I’d play one song of my choice at his 50th birthday party - the rest of the band were his college bandmates from an 80’s cover band. I was new to fractal, no rehearsal, no sound check - hadn’t read the manual - set up the fx3 into my studio monitors - started playing - band kicked in - and ppfffftt - I was completely drowned out. I couldn’t even hear me.]

But it was fun. Enjoy yourself. Start a band.
 
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I have experienced similar thoughts throughout playing guitar. Having something your good at and you enjoy in life is a win win. Everything seems to have some alternative thought, maybe not breathing:) Be thankful you have the current situation and enjoy it to the fullest every second. The point is happiness, unfortunately millions of people have no escape besides a book or a movie. Not that that's not good. Obviously books should have consumed me at some point and maybe my grammatical issues wouldn't be so prevalent , seriously tho. Enjoy and show others that you enjoy, that's part of it. The ability to express the love you have for the craft can be underrated. Seems my favorite players are those guys that share it so well without a second thought. I do not have that. Cheers
 
The quality of my gear far outstrips the quality of my musical talent. :D I've grown to be okay with that. I play music for me; not to prove anything to anyone else. I can show up and be who I am as a musician and guitar player and if that doesn't work for the people I'm playing with we part ways and it's all good.
 
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HuskyInfantry said:
But I can't help but feel like I don't deserve it. I don't play in a band (as much as I'd like to be), and my jam sessions with buddies only happen a couple times a month. Even at my jam sessions we tend to stick to only one or two sounds.
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this is not "imposter syndrome", which doesn't exist anyways (the researcher that coined the term, Pauline Clance, retired her paper after she realized it was no different than garden variety anxiety).

Live happy and do what you please, nobody can tell you what you "deserve" as a player, doesn't matter if you're not particularly good at playing, I'm not either and I have multiple PRS guitars, a Strandberg and an Axe FX 3. Whoever thinks those are wasted on me... is completely right, but can suck it.
 
It's no different than people driving a Corvette under the speed limit...you see that all the time. Nothing wrong with it...it's theirs. Personally when I owned a couple I was a firm believer in "drive it like you stole it".... completely irresponsible looking back.
 
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