Manning
Experienced
There is a age-old series of jokes that explain... well, pretty much everything, from the perspective of "you have two cows". (These jokes have apparently been around since the 1930s).
Here are some of the basic, original variations from when the joke was born:
Capitalism - You have two cows: You sell one and buy a bull.
Communism - You have two cows: the government takes both and gives you milk.
This has lead to hundreds of modern variations on politics, history, pop culture, the internet, etc:
European Union: You have two cows. The EU declares them to be "fruit" in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).
Physics: You have two cows. You can perfectly predict the milk production, but only for spherical cows in a vacuum.
eBay: You have two cows. Both were an unwanted gift and are in almost new condition but you will only deliver to your local area. They have been viewed 142 times.
J.R.R. Tolkien: You have two cows. One of them is descended from Turgon, son of Fingolfin, son of Finwë, and dwelt in the hidden city of Gondolin, that in Quenya is called Ondolindë, which is The Rock of the Music of the Water. The other is the daughter of... (etc)
The Sopranos (finale): You have two c
Anyway, I ran across some music variations:
Alternative music: You have two cows. They're cool because no one else has ever tasted their milk before. When they do, you regard the cows as sell-outs.
Country music: You have two cows. No matter what you do, your cows keep leaving you and breaking your heart.
AC/DC: You have two cows. You milk them exactly the same way for 35 years.
Daft Punk: You have two cows, you have two cows. You have two cows, you have two cows. You have two cows, you have two cows...
Lady Gaga: You wear two cows.
Kanye West: You have two c... YO I'M REAL HAPPY FOR YOU, I'MA LET YOU FINISH, BUT BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST "YOU HAVE TWO COWS" JOKES OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!
Steve Vai: You have two cows. People come from miles around to see how fast you can milk your cows. People who can't milk cows very fast don't quite get it.
U2: U have 2 cows. They moo in mysterious ways.
...and here's the one that made me laugh out loud:
Metal: You have two cows. In your opinion, one provides Ambient Symphonic Industrial Death Milk, but the other provides post-Ambient Symphonic Industrial Death Milk. No-one else can tell the difference.
Here are some of the basic, original variations from when the joke was born:
Capitalism - You have two cows: You sell one and buy a bull.
Communism - You have two cows: the government takes both and gives you milk.
This has lead to hundreds of modern variations on politics, history, pop culture, the internet, etc:
European Union: You have two cows. The EU declares them to be "fruit" in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).
Physics: You have two cows. You can perfectly predict the milk production, but only for spherical cows in a vacuum.
eBay: You have two cows. Both were an unwanted gift and are in almost new condition but you will only deliver to your local area. They have been viewed 142 times.
J.R.R. Tolkien: You have two cows. One of them is descended from Turgon, son of Fingolfin, son of Finwë, and dwelt in the hidden city of Gondolin, that in Quenya is called Ondolindë, which is The Rock of the Music of the Water. The other is the daughter of... (etc)
The Sopranos (finale): You have two c
Anyway, I ran across some music variations:
Alternative music: You have two cows. They're cool because no one else has ever tasted their milk before. When they do, you regard the cows as sell-outs.
Country music: You have two cows. No matter what you do, your cows keep leaving you and breaking your heart.
AC/DC: You have two cows. You milk them exactly the same way for 35 years.
Daft Punk: You have two cows, you have two cows. You have two cows, you have two cows. You have two cows, you have two cows...
Lady Gaga: You wear two cows.
Kanye West: You have two c... YO I'M REAL HAPPY FOR YOU, I'MA LET YOU FINISH, BUT BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST "YOU HAVE TWO COWS" JOKES OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!
Steve Vai: You have two cows. People come from miles around to see how fast you can milk your cows. People who can't milk cows very fast don't quite get it.
U2: U have 2 cows. They moo in mysterious ways.
...and here's the one that made me laugh out loud:
Metal: You have two cows. In your opinion, one provides Ambient Symphonic Industrial Death Milk, but the other provides post-Ambient Symphonic Industrial Death Milk. No-one else can tell the difference.
