Twelve Step Work?

RevDrucifer said:
I was on vacation this entire week and had ample time, money and opportunity to carry it on, but instead I sat at home dialing in Gilmour tones and programming my FM9 because that was more fun to me than anything else.

I don’t even have the time to pull the shit I used to anymore.
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So, in fairness, it actually sounds like you are taking a respite and chillin'. :)

In my experience, that's when life gets really good. The drama of trauma doesn't need to constantly
re-enact itself in the hopes of being seen and addressed.

Congrats, Rev! :)
 
Justincase said:
I almost did a googley eyed chick for some shit once...just couldn't bring myself to do it tho. Lol

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She was soooo mad.
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I had a friend back in the day who had the biggest tells on his face when he did blow. One rail
and he was all twitchy in the jaw. It was SO obvious!

He promised his Fiancee he wouldn't ever do it again if they were to get married. I am, sure you know
how this story goes, eh?? :)

He promised her, and then at his Bachelor Party he decides he should have one last hurrah. His finacee'
unexpectedly shows up late at his place where we were throwing his party. We all knew he was fucked.
Because of that dumb jaw thing he would do.

She ended up literally chasing him around the yard in the dark with a cast iron pan. Pretty sure she
threw it at his sorry ass at some point. All of his pals are watching it and kind of laughing/crying at
the same time, because it was so damn funny/tragic

A week later we all were laughing/crying again when they exchanged vows. Yup. :)

It was a GREAT wedding reception and a really shitty marriage. Not sure they lasted 3 years.
 
la noise said:
So, in fairness, it actually sounds like you are taking a respite and chillin'. :)

In my experience, that's when life gets really good. The drama of trauma doesn't need to constantly
re-enact itself in the hopes of being seen and addressed.

Congrats, Rev! :)
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Indeed.

Though at this point, I’ve got closure on the marriage and all that happened. I’m at peace with it and have forgiven my ex-wife. I understand how it all happened. There’s no more drama, no sad feelings, no wondering why or how it happened. I’m not looking for a wife or even a relationship anytime soon, but I’m certainly not going to be a hermit. I just spent 2 years cooped up in my house dwelling on a failing marriage. My therapist was practically begging me to go out and have a good time. :D

The partying stuff hasn’t been a concern for years, but my issues were never with the drinking and drugs; my issue was not having healthy coping mechanisms and a shitload of unresolved issues. The partying initially buried them until it brought them up to the surface. That’s why it was very important to me that I embraced the failure of the marriage and everything that came along with it. I knew if I faced it all head on, I wouldn’t be saving any in my back pocket for later. That became my coping mechanism instead of running from it.
 
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