Need to vent: Cancer Sucks RIP 8/16/62 - 12/25/23

Sending my sincere condolences and hope you will be comforted in this time. From all you have posted your brother was very fortunate to have you to help with the many difficult needs and in turn he obviously deserved your love and devotion. Take care of yourself.

I also would be remiss to not mention your sister and her part through this and my condolences to her as well.
 
My wife told me that my one sister posted this last night. I’m not one to have family on my own social media, as I would rather just talk to them directly and not have them read something in a post.

While I truly appreciate the words she said and others in my family have echoed them as well, It was never something I did to have platitudes heaped on me. I did what I had to do to care for my brother as best I could knowing all along how this would eventually end,but always being hopeful that somehow it would all be ok.
This picture was from my youngest nephew’s wedding which also was one of the last times the 5 of us would all be together as a family.
 
Dixiethedog said:
I can only repeat the kind thoughts of everybody on here @Rich5150. If I am ever in a bad way I just hope and pray that I will have somebody like yourself on my side.

As @Bruce Sokolovic above (best wishes and thoughts to you are yours Bruce) mentioned, I am also going through a rough time with a family member suffering from the awful Big C. My family member, Margaret, was diagnosed with the Big C a few months ago and told that she only had about 3 months to live. And she managed a few more than that. I saw her a week or two back and commented that she looked great. Since then she turned poorly with the cancer moving to her brain. She is in the hospital and I think that if she makes it to Christmas it will be a miracle. This for me is sad, but not in any way near as what a brother would feel for his bro.

I might be thousands of miles away but my thoughts are with you. Stay strong my friend.
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I am very sad to say that my dear family member Margaret passed away earlier this morning, surrounded by people who were important to her and very much loved by her. The Big C sucks.

But I am happy for her. She is out of pain and can now rest in peace. God bless her.

Margaret had (or has...) been married to Bob for 50 years this year. They have worked hard, but for me, this is the cruel part of the story.
For years they would say, "Next year we are going to do an around-the-world cruise" And believe me, they could afford it. But they would buy another house, renovate it, and then sell it on. And another... and then another. My old school motto was "Carpe Diem" (make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future) (Which is an odd motto for a school that promoted not thinking about children's futures). I suppose it also means don't put it off until tomorrow if you can do it today. Well, it is now too late. She has gone and poor Bob won't be going on any cruises now. This is not meant to sound harsh by the way.

So this, if anybody should read it brings us back to now. Don't wait until tomorrow if you want, need, or desire to do something. Go for it. I love Margaret, but without being disrespectful in any way to her she will now be dead for a long time. The Big C stripped her chance to do what she wanted to do in retirement.

Please don't let this be you. If you have a heartbeat and blood pumping through your veins get on with things.

I am about to tell my wife that I really do need another Les Paul and I have cash in my pocket. Wish me luck... :) Maybe tomorrow...
 
Dave Merrill said:
Bummed I can only leave one flavor of like, I get multiple emotions here.
Do the thing.
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I understand the one flavor of like. :) So thank you.
Margaret had a lovely warm sense of humour, and if she could read the words that I wrote she would have a bit of a chuckle to herself agreeing with my thoughts I am sure.
A while back Bob told me that music for the funeral had already been agreed on with "Tears from Heaven" being a song chosen, and I asked Bob if he could play it on his guitar. "No, I am more of a 3-chord song player, that would be too difficult for me to learn", he told me. I have been thinking about this for months and putting it off until tomorrow (typical for me) as I would like to learn the song properly myself.
My guitar is sitting in the corner of the room and a Youtube guitar lesson is beckoning me to watch and learn. For Margaret, I am going to get off my lazy butt and learn a new song. Today. Not tomorrow. :)
 
So sorry to hear of your loss the Big C Sucks.
It is a disease that does not discriminate old young doesn’t matter who you are. I wish they would find a cure for it. I know you will have memories of her that will be with you for the rest of your life.
So she is not gone she will be in your heart and families heart so she will live on… Hang on to all of those good memories…
Such a great choice of songs Tears From Heaven
 
Dixiethedog said:
I am very sad to say that my dear family member Margaret passed away earlier this morning, surrounded by people who were important to her and very much loved by her. The Big C sucks.

But I am happy for her. She is out of pain and can now rest in peace. God bless her.

Margaret had (or has...) been married to Bob for 50 years this year. They have worked hard, but for me, this is the cruel part of the story.
For years they would say, "Next year we are going to do an around-the-world cruise" And believe me, they could afford it. But they would buy another house, renovate it, and then sell it on. And another... and then another. My old school motto was "Carpe Diem" (make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future) (Which is an odd motto for a school that promoted not thinking about children's futures). I suppose it also means don't put it off until tomorrow if you can do it today. Well, it is now too late. She has gone and poor Bob won't be going on any cruises now. This is not meant to sound harsh by the way.

So this, if anybody should read it brings us back to now. Don't wait until tomorrow if you want, need, or desire to do something. Go for it. I love Margaret, but without being disrespectful in any way to her she will now be dead for a long time. The Big C stripped her chance to do what she wanted to do in retirement.

Please don't let this be you. If you have a heartbeat and blood pumping through your veins get on with things.

I am about to tell my wife that I really do need another Les Paul and I have cash in my pocket. Wish me luck... :) Maybe tomorrow...
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Sorry for your loss. :(
 
Can I just say a big thank you to @Rich5150 who started this thread with his own story.
Without him, I would have not mentioned the things that have just happened today in my family on the forum
I don't like the thought of people thinking I have hi-jacked things here as that is not my intention.
I am sure that we will all agree that the Fractal community is like a family. One that gives support when needed and kind words when they help.
And again thanks to Rich for allowing people to share their thoughts and comments on a subject that touches so many people.
Cancer does indeed suck.
 
Dixiethedog said:
Can I just say a big thank you to @Rich5150 who started this thread with his own story.
Without him, I would have not mentioned the things that have just happened today in my family on the forum
I don't like the thought of people thinking I have hi-jacked things here as that is not my intention.
I am sure that we will all agree that the Fractal community is like a family. One that gives support when needed and kind words when they help.
And again thanks to Rich for allowing people to share their thoughts and comments on a subject that touches so many people.
Cancer does indeed suck.
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As the starter of this thread I don’t think you hijacked it at all. I started this as a way to vent, to share my experience in taking care of my brother. For anyone that wants to share this thread is here. I am truly sorry for your loss as well.
 
That sucks. Hope you can enjoy the time you have.

Rich5150 said:
This isn't a post I would normally make

So a little over a year ago my Brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer (its my belief he had it for quite awhile before the diagnosis). Now while the prognosis was Terminal from the start, he was able to get into a trail and was able to have surgery to remove it last year, that went well but then after he was all healed up earlier this year in another scan his numbers went the wrong way and after another biopsy it was found to have spread to his liver. 2 months ago he was given the option to try Chemo Infusion which wouldn't cure but would hopefully give more time, or Hospice, He chose to try the Chemo (then had a fall at home and fractured his T12 vertebrae, so he's been in rehab for almost 2 months) but unfortunately after 3 rounds it has damaged his kidneys and the Dr has decided that the harm isn't worth it so the only choice left is hospice.

61 years old is to young to have had to deal with all of this but his positivity and braveness in the face of all that has been thrown at him, I really couldn't be prouder of him. My dad always worked two jobs to support us so my brother kind of acted as a father figure to me taking me to my 1st MLB baseball game, I still remember going to see Star Wars with him in 77 when I was just 7 years old, and I guess you could say he was kinda responsible for my love of guitar as he had an acoustic when we were younger and let my beat the hell out of it.

I guess the old saying of Cancer eventually touches everyone at some point is true. At this point its going to be about his comfort and trying to get everything ready for the inevitable,
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Dixiethedog said:
Please don't let this be you. If you have a heartbeat and blood pumping through your veins get on with things.
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Great reminder, and so sorry for your loss.

I'd venture that none of us have to go many degrees of separation to know of someone who has died of cancer.
I'm forever reminded of our own Todd Bishop, who fought so hard.

Todd, I'm still trying to get that BATM solo brother! ;)
 
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