Need to vent: Cancer Sucks RIP 8/16/62 - 12/25/23

Rich5150

Rich5150

Experienced
This isn't a post I would normally make

So a little over a year ago my Brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer (its my belief he had it for quite awhile before the diagnosis). Now while the prognosis was Terminal from the start, he was able to get into a trail and was able to have surgery to remove it last year, that went well but then after he was all healed up earlier this year in another scan his numbers went the wrong way and after another biopsy it was found to have spread to his liver. 2 months ago he was given the option to try Chemo Infusion which wouldn't cure but would hopefully give more time, or Hospice, He chose to try the Chemo (then had a fall at home and fractured his T12 vertebrae, so he's been in rehab for almost 2 months) but unfortunately after 3 rounds it has damaged his kidneys and the Dr has decided that the harm isn't worth it so the only choice left is hospice.

61 years old is to young to have had to deal with all of this but his positivity and braveness in the face of all that has been thrown at him, I really couldn't be prouder of him. My dad always worked two jobs to support us so my brother kind of acted as a father figure to me taking me to my 1st MLB baseball game, I still remember going to see Star Wars with him in 77 when I was just 7 years old, and I guess you could say he was kinda responsible for my love of guitar as he had an acoustic when we were younger and let my beat the hell out of it.

I guess the old saying of Cancer eventually touches everyone at some point is true. At this point its going to be about his comfort and trying to get everything ready for the inevitable,
 
Very sorry for you and your family in this time.
It sounds like you were most fortunate to have your brother and that will certainly be something to always cherish.
 
So very sorry that your brother and you and family have to go through this. It's one of the toughest things ever. I lost my father and stepmother to cancer and I myself am a cancer survivor losing a kidney to it over 13 years ago.
 
So sorry for what you are going through.

I lost my Dad to cancer. He fought a good fight - the chemo is toxic to cancer but it is also toxic to humans. It did buy him more time, but the trade off was feeling shitty nearly every day.

I hope by the time my kids age science and new medicine will nail that miserable disease in all it's forms.
 
Sorry to hear that news about your brother man that sucks. Be there as much as you can its something you’ll always have…
Im a lucky one I beat cancer 43 years ago I shouldn’t be here... always here if you need to vent!
 
Thank you all, it’s been tough I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.I’m the youngest of the 4 of us (two sisters)but I live closest to him so I knew more than they did. I guess trying to protect them a bit from the brunt of it as well as my mom, not that they didn’t know it was terminal, but maybe some of the nastier parts. Despite my being the youngest (53) I have always been the one to kind of shoulder the responsibilities, and the one never afraid to speak my mind.
 
The transition to hospice is terribly frustrating, my brother will be going home tomorrow from rehab but unfortunately lives alone in a senior complex studio apt on a limited income and to have 24 hr care is incredibly expensive. To go into a facility they pretty much drain their bank account till medicare kicks in.
I cannot take him into my house as my wife had her mother go through home hospice a few years ago and her dad passed away in 2020 at home, there is no way I could put her through that again.
Healthcare in this country is horrendous, apparently you have to pay to die.
 
Very sad to hear :(
It's so hard and painful.
Try as much you can to have time with your brother.

When my mother died to cancer it took half year from diagnose.
I took as much time I could with her and after she passed away I comforted
my self that she don't have pain anymore.

Prayers for you and your family.
 
Hi Rich,
Thanks for sharing. I think you’re right that cancer touches all and most of us have stories. It sucks. At least you have some time with him. I’m sorry.
Pauly

Rich5150 said:
This isn't a post I would normally make

So a little over a year ago my Brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer (its my belief he had it for quite awhile before the diagnosis). Now while the prognosis was Terminal from the start, he was able to get into a trail and was able to have surgery to remove it last year, that went well but then after he was all healed up earlier this year in another scan his numbers went the wrong way and after another biopsy it was found to have spread to his liver. 2 months ago he was given the option to try Chemo Infusion which wouldn't cure but would hopefully give more time, or Hospice, He chose to try the Chemo (then had a fall at home and fractured his T12 vertebrae, so he's been in rehab for almost 2 months) but unfortunately after 3 rounds it has damaged his kidneys and the Dr has decided that the harm isn't worth it so the only choice left is hospice.

61 years old is to young to have had to deal with all of this but his positivity and braveness in the face of all that has been thrown at him, I really couldn't be prouder of him. My dad always worked two jobs to support us so my brother kind of acted as a father figure to me taking me to my 1st MLB baseball game, I still remember going to see Star Wars with him in 77 when I was just 7 years old, and I guess you could say he was kinda responsible for my love of guitar as he had an acoustic when we were younger and let my beat the hell out of it.

I guess the old saying of Cancer eventually touches everyone at some point is true. At this point its going to be about his comfort and trying to get everything ready for the inevitable,
Click to expand...
 
I'm really sorry to hear man, that is horrible.

I recently lost my father to pancreatic cancer so I have a lot of empathy for what you might be going through. It's cruel and unfair in the extreme. I'm glad you made this post and hope you have people in your life you can lean on and talk with as you go through this. People can be really 'weird' about death/loss/grief and it can surprise you who ends up being there for you and who doesn't when the time comes.

Take care of your self, and be kind to yourself - everyone's experience of grief is different, and there's no right or wrong ways to feel about things, no proper order in which to feel them, and no correct timetable to progress through them.

I'm going to raise my morning coffee mug to your brother, he sounds like a great dude and an incredibly important and positive force in your life.

Let us know how you're doing.

Take care
 
Cainer said:
I'm really sorry to hear man, that is horrible.

I recently lost my father to pancreatic cancer so I have a lot of empathy for what you might be going through. It's cruel and unfair in the extreme. I'm glad you made this post and hope you have people in your life you can lean on and talk with as you go through this. People can be really 'weird' about death/loss/grief and it can surprise you who ends up being there for you and who doesn't when the time comes.

Take care of your self, and be kind to yourself - everyone's experience of grief is different, and there's no right or wrong ways to feel about things, no proper order in which to feel them, and no correct timetable to progress through them.

I'm going to raise my morning coffee mug to your brother, he sounds like a great dude and an incredibly important and positive force in your life.

Let us know how you're doing.

Take care
Click to expand...
My condolences on the loss of your dad, and thank you for the kind words

I appreciate all the kind words and prayers from all. I do have a great support group in both my sisters and my wife, and my sister in law and her husband. It’s been a day of reaching out to his and my former work they truly do care about him and are concerned as well as reaching out to my aunts and uncles. They are truly conversations I thought I’d never have to have.
My wife has been great, letting me go decompress, play some guitar and video games when she gets home, she understands what I’m going through as she’s been through this as well.

I will keep this updated, and leave this post with please get yourselves checked out, I really believe if he had found this years earlier I wouldn’t have to write this.
 
@Rich5150 my absolute love and thoughts go out to you, your brother, your family, and all of your friends who will be offering support at this difficult time.

I was sitting thinking about writing something a bit longer but I think the above just says what I mean to say. Stay strong and take each day as it comes. I am sure that we all agree in the Fractal community that we are willing for your brother to do the best he can for as long as he can.

Feel free to give him a hug from me. Please.

And tell him that I have NEVER seen Star Wars!
 
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