Me and my lead guitarist have been doing this for years. We go fractal xlr (mono) out to our board and then use the aux outs to run individual IEM mixes for the band. IEM are great, particularly for keeping stage sound to a minimum. This allows instruments that need mics (percussion, vocals, etc...) to pick up only what they need and there is less (no) unwanted feedback on stage. IEM also allow you to accurately hear only what you want.
It helps immensely to have a couple "stage" and "audience" mics, so that you don't feel so closed off. We place a stage mic near the singer (facing the audience) that only goes to our IEM (not the mains). This way he can turn around and say "let's play....." or "check out the fox in the black dress...." also, with the mic this way, we can hear some of the crowd noise that is out front. Another thing, it helps to have good headphones. Don't cheap out here, this is very important. You've made an amazing patch with the perfect sounds for the song that sit well in the mix... your headphones are the final thing in the chain. It's cool if it sounds good for the audience, but remember that it should sound good to you too! We use Alclair earbuds. I have the CrankMasters, and love them. Molded to my ears, it sounds like a full PA. Rock solid construction and they sound amazing.
Another thing that helps is to bring your own mixer to the gig. It sucks lugging extra gear, but the benefit is that you will always have consistent monitors. Once you have a mix that you like, it will stay the same from gig to gig. You may also need a Split Snake if the venue is providing sound reinforcements (some venues we play don't have one). This way both you and front of house get the signal.
I've been using in ears so long, that it's frustrating to not have them. Why would you want to compromise and not hear exactly (and only) what you want?