I have 2 bands that I regularly gig with, 2 kids and a "real" full time job. I also will do side man jobs/fill ins as well as sessions. I've been performing live for 25 yrs and have had the day job for 18. It can sometimes be a juggling act but if you are an organized person, it's doable.
One of the bands is a "classic rock" cover band, the other is a tribute. The cover band plays 4-8 times a month, the tribute plays 8-12 shows a year. With the cover band, we started booking any gig M-F as 8 or 9 start time, and we play 2 longer sets instead of 3. We are usually done around midnight 12:30 so we're not getting out of there and home so late. .We've found (and have convinced a lot of bar owners) that the live music crowd really thins out after midnight as they tend to be older and the young crowd that likes to stay to closing time prefers a DJ or recorded music over the venue's system. A lot of the places we play have recognized this and agree to it. If a venue won't go for it, we may just not book it. Makes no sense to be playing to 10-20 people at 1:30 am. I think the smarter owners understand this and realize they get more for their money with an earlier time frame.
With the tribute, like
@Genghis stated, its typically fewer shows for a lot more money and shorter sets. When you can make $4K for a 90-120 minute show with production provided, it's hard to say no to that! There is however the fact that you must travel sometimes.
I have a family, 2 kids in HS and M-F job. I guess I just can't sit still very long, I like to be busy and I like to be organized. I have quality time with my family, don't cut corners on my job and can still gig regularly, it can be done. Its not always easy, but again if it's organized, it works. Above all though, I love doing it.
I'll add that I always make sure I regularly schedule some weekends off for family and/or living a life outside of a band. We schedule months in advance so it's easy to do that. I'll also decline a date if the schedule is getting too busy for the away time. There has to be a balance.
I think you just have to have a plan for you and stick to it as much as possible. Anyway, my $.02.