Guitarists Anonymous

A

acwild

Experienced
Is there such a group? I think I need help. šŸ˜ Another guitar has caught my eye and I worked out a nice discount for it. I was thinking to myself that itā€™s been a while since Iā€™ve bought a guitar and then I realized that I just got a nice acoustic recently. Before that, I just got a bass in December. (Does a bass really count though)? Shortly before that, I got my wonderful Wolfgang. And not too long before that, I got another guitar.

I was thinking at least I havenā€™t bought any amps or pedals in a while but then I remembered that I bought a new bass rig (amp, pedals). Again, I donā€™t think that counts.

I think I have a problem. (And yes, the new guitar should be in my hands in a few days).
 
If you don't need another guitar, don't buy another guitar. It's like asking, "Do I need another beer?" You'll know when you've had enough.

Seriously, if you're not in a relationship which requires attention, and you're not saving your money for something more important (mid-year vehicle taxes, home improvement, new car, vacation, etc.), luxury spending is entirely your choice and no one else's.

But reaching out and saying, "I think I need help" is a concerning statement that carries weight. Just so you can budget for these guitars and not go into debt in doing so, you might be able to turn the corner on your guitar obsession.
 
Wellā€¦there are all sorts of ways to become addicted to something. Some of the hardest is getting addicted to your own natural biology. Meaning does the ā€œhighā€ you get when you make a purchase (buy a guitar) overwhelm your ability to make a healthy or smart decision. Also, how long after the ā€œhighā€ do you feel low and unsatisfied? Maybe the answer is never.

In most addiction studies the real world sign of a problem is when your life has become unmanageable. As @bleujazz3 said it would be are you forgoing important things like bills, etc. or are not investing in your future that would be money better spent. Also, as @bleujazz3 said only you can truthfully answer this. Others can point things out to you, but until you are honest it wonā€™t stick.

On a more practical side one way to offset things is only buy guitars and gear you will be able to easily liquidate into cash if necessary.
 
GitGuy513 said:
Wellā€¦there are all sorts of ways to become addicted to something. Some of the hardest is getting addicted to your own natural biology. Meaning does the ā€œhighā€ you get when you make a purchase (buy a guitar) overwhelm your ability to make a healthy or smart decision. Also, how long after the ā€œhighā€ do you feel low and unsatisfied? Maybe the answer is never.

In most addiction studies the real world sign of a problem is when your life has become unmanageable. As @bleujazz3 said it would be are you forgoing important things like bills, etc. or are not investing in your future that would be money better spent. Also, as @bleujazz3 said only you can truthfully answer this. Others can point things out to you, but until you are honest it wonā€™t stick.

On a more practical side one way to offset things is only buy guitars and gear you will be able to easily liquidate into cash if necessary.
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This in itself is part of how our human psychology works...if we feel happier with something shiny and new, our eyes give way to desire, and we buy that item.

Unfortunately, it's like a new marriage. The honeymoon phase wanes eventually and it's necessary to focus on the regular aspects of life. Romance experts describe this as the "bloom being off the rose." We're happiest with something new and exciting, but eventually, the novelty wears off and we become apathetic with what we already have. We then begin a search for something new again.

The "high" or excitement one feels can impede your decision-making ability. The "low" can force you to make changes with the status quo.

Whether you are happily single and able to afford nice things occasionally, or whether you're married and need some financial planning for your marriage's future may determine how the OP views his guitar obsession. Just don't let the feeling of apathy become the reason for desiring something new. While we should all be thankful for what we already have, don't let an overt desire for "more" be the motivation for buying things.

IOW, don't let your "want" become a "need." We all "need" things in life. We also "want" things. Recall this when you hear a young child pester its parent for what it "wants." Then you'll understand the difference between a younger child and the parent. The young child seeks immediate gratification. The parent sees the bigger picture and the longer-term goal.
 
md1234 said:
I think we'll need some pics to get a better understanding of the problems you're dealing with!
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Pics coming soon.

If weā€™re talking about needs, I really donā€™t need a guitar at all. Itā€™s my hobby. And Iā€™m definitely not going into debt as I wonā€™t buy anything that I donā€™t have the money for. I hate owing money. It just doesnā€™t seem normal to have forgotten to have bought some guitars.

When I say that I think I need help, Iā€™m seriously not being serious, I thinkā€¦ I keep telling myself that Iā€™d love to simplify and only own two guitars. One acoustic, one electric. Bleujazz3, you bring up some interesting points. Itā€™s possible that Iā€™m still a child, mentally. šŸ˜
 
acwild said:
Pics coming soon.

If weā€™re talking about needs, I really donā€™t need a guitar at all. Itā€™s my hobby. And Iā€™m definitely not going into debt as I wonā€™t buy anything that I donā€™t have the money for. I hate owing money. It just doesnā€™t seem normal to have forgotten to have bought some guitars.

When I say that I think I need help, Iā€™m seriously not being serious, I thinkā€¦ I keep telling myself that Iā€™d love to simplify and only own two guitars. One acoustic, one electric. Bleujazz3, you bring up some interesting points. Itā€™s possible that Iā€™m still a child, mentally. šŸ˜
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TBH, we all hold an inner child in check so we don't let our impulsive nature overrule our ability to reason clearly. Don't feel badly, many of us live vicariously through our offspring in order to see the joy that children possess. It's an innocent, blameless stage in a child's life between the time when a child learns about the world around him and his self-awareness.

IRL, we all tend to revert to a child-like behavior when we wish to enjoy our innocent childhood. The problem is that the larger world is telling us to see life as it exists and grow up. Perhaps that's why the happiest people enjoy good family lives; seeing life through both adult and child-like eyes, sometimes blindly forgetting ourselves in the moment until we're reminded to pay attention again.

How do I know all of this? Truthfully, my high school years were fraught with a lack of self-awareness and realizing that there is a bigger world beyond myself. It took many years of self-examination and asking questions before it was possible for me to see beyond focusing on myself. Lots of teasing and hassles during that time.

Essentially, older adults telling me gently to not take life so seriously. My problem was that trying to think like a teacher conflicted with the inner child. Not until it was possible to see things by stepping into their shoes was my hopes of "speaking correctly" not only encouraged but also rewarded.

It was realizing that people have "needs." To be successful in life, you "need" a good education. Notice I didn't say "deserve" an education. Some things that you receive are the result of an "undeserved kindness," like an arm around the shoulder, or a tossle of the hair.

Some things people have are "wants." Our inner child often suggests this to ourselves thinking we'll be happier when we receive this. The parent typically responds to such "wants" by saying, "Keep it up. You're gonna get it soon."

How do I know this? Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Truthfully, just plain old life experience.
 
talking season 1 GIF by Showtime
 
Do you give to any charities?

To me, helping someone (with no chance of repayment) is way more fullfilling than buying more "stuff" that I already have enough of. And in doing so, I become much more aware of the fact that unlike many people in this world, I've never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from, and it also has an added benefit curbing how much I spend on myself.
 
I was seriously talking about addiction to the dopamine rush and other bio-chemicals like adrenaline that people literally get from ā€œbuyingā€ addictions. I have seen people seriously screw up their lives. Since itā€™s not as socially unacceptable as say cocaine or heroin addiction itā€™s not taken seriously by many. Since the OP has established that he wasnā€™t being serious (which I sort of figured was the case) or his life has not become unmanageable then what Iā€™m talking about is not applicable. Although not remembering large purchases made within recent history is a sign that a person with a problem could have a problem. Once again according to the OP this isn't relevant.

We are living in a world where there are many deceptive avenues to addictions and addictive behaviors that many find themselves trapped before realizing it. For these people it goes beyond willpower. Or those that use willpower alone will often be somewhat miserable people or switch addictions and end up in a constant cycle of bouncing back and forth from one thing to another.
 
GitGuy513 said:
I was seriously talking about addiction to the dopamine rush and other bio-chemicals like adrenaline that people literally get from ā€œbuyingā€ addictions. I have seen people seriously screw up their lives. Since itā€™s not as socially unacceptable as say cocaine or heroin addiction itā€™s not taken seriously by many. Since the OP has established that he wasnā€™t being serious (which I sort of figured was the case) or his life has not become unmanageable then what Iā€™m talking about is not applicable. Although not remembering large purchases made within recent history is a sign that a person with a problem could have a problem. Once again according to the OP this isn't relevant.

We are living in a world where there are many deceptive avenues to addictions and addictive behaviors that many find themselves trapped before realizing it. For these people it goes beyond willpower. Or those that use willpower alone will often be somewhat miserable people or switch addictions and end up in a constant cycle of bouncing back and forth from one thing to another.
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I also sensed that the OP was talking tongue in cheek, but thought to express my concern of his phrase that he needed help.

Having lived a life where this phrase was used only in crises cases, it was triggering, so please accept my apology in advance. Mr. Big wrote about Addicted to that Rush years ago, and I seriously can't help but ask what their intended message was. Whether it was from personal experience or not, remains to be seen.

I really think we may have overblown our original intent of cautioning the OP regards casually saying he needs help. Trained to hear these words in a serious context, it sets off an alarm that would normally require response.

False alarm this time.
 
Good luck bro! We've all been there and sometimes pass in and out of that stage. Just be smart with your $$$.
 
TSJMajesty said:
Do you give to any charities?

To me, helping someone (with no chance of repayment) is way more fullfilling than buying more "stuff" that I already have enough of. And in doing so, I become much more aware of the fact that unlike many people in this world, I've never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from, and it also has an added benefit curbing how much I spend on myself.
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I donate to charities, volunteer, and donate blood. Iā€™m hyper-aware of how fortunate I am and totally agree with you.

Bleujazz3, youā€™re a good person. I donā€™t really need help but I do appreciate that there are people in the world like you. There are some very insightful thoughts being shared. Although I started this post without being serious, it has opened up some opportunity for self-reflection. Cheers!
 
acwild said:
...Bleujazz3, youā€™re a good person. I donā€™t really need help but I do appreciate that there are people in the world like you. There are some very insightful thoughts being shared. Although I started this post without being serious, it has opened up some opportunity for self-reflection. Cheers!
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TBH, I really didn't think you were serious about asking for help. Some folks make a conscious choice to appear in need as a way of being humorous. While it typically elicits laughter in response, sometimes the original message is forgotten...the one stating "I think I need help."

That is why my response was calculated without being invasive. My concern is that your asking for help is like inviting the world into your house so we could see your guitar collection. On one hand, there are aspects of our lives one can feel comfortable sharing with this forum. The other hand, providing a grand tour of our dwellings, not so much.

There's a lot that could and will go wrong if we allow this to continue. Let's just say that you have the right at any time to send us on home. Thanks for letting us be your virtual guests for a time.
 
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