Don't be too hard on yourself. These units are a bit complicated. Your problem is you need a better speaker solution, and also need to learn how to setup your levels for your input and output. The manual explains what you need to do in an easy to understand fashion. It won't hurt to leave your phones plugged in while going out to speakers. Running into the front of your amp isn't going to be the best way to hear what these things will do but it will work. Keep at it, get an FRFR or an amp where you can bypass the preamp and go straight to the power section and cab, or good phones, or decent studio monitors. You'll figure it out, no worries.