Dad Jokes

[fcs101]

Netflix: "Do you want to watch a ten hour movie in one sitting?"
Me: "No way!"
Netflix: "What if I break the movie up into ten one-hour episodes?"
Also me: "I'm in!!!"

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call an indecisive bee?

A: A may-bee.

 

[fcs101]

Luckily, I have a good chance of beating my gambling addiction.

Tequila may not fix your life, but it's worth a shot.

 

[Freds55]

Why does the man who runs Time’s Square on New Year’s Eve feel like a failure?

He always drops the ball.

 

[fcs101]

Q: What did the cannibal choose as his last meal?

A: Five Guys!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What's a New Year's resolution?

A: Something that goes in one year and out the other.

 

[Freds55]

What's the worst part of jogging on New Year's Eve?

The ice falling out of your drink! Lol

 

[Freds55]

Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone?

Incase Mr. Onion Rings.

 

[fcs101]

Q: Where do chefs celebrate New Years?

A: In Thymes Square!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What was the spider's New Year resolution?

A: To spend less time on the web.

 

[bleujazz3]

 

[DaveO]

Tequila may not fix your life, but it's worth a shot.

Or More!
I may not like Tequila but when I do I drink!

 

[DaveO]

 

[DaveO]

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a shot of tequila.
The bartender asks, “Should I put it on your tab?”
The duck goes, “no, put it on my bill.”
Quack Quack!

 

[DaveO]

 

[bleujazz3]

View attachment 113539

Ya know, when my buddy sent me the polar bear drawing, my thought was, "Phew. I thought it was going to be a dentist joke." Instead it turned out to be a horse hockey joke.

 

[Freds55]

My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.
My dog was delighted.

 

[DaveO]

My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.
My dog was delighted.

That's a great one @Freds55! really got a chuckle out of that one,
What a great way to end the year of dad jokes!
Happy New Year to all of the Dad jokers and readers!
May 2023 be a great year for all of us!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What was the optometrist's favorite year?

A: 2020.

 

[DaveO]

What do you call a blond with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant!
Apologizes, I Couldn't resist!