You Know You're a Bonehead When...

Or you take your wireless mic....hold it out to the crowd so they can sing....then flip the mic back around in your and trying to be cool, and you go for the next line in the song, but you're singing into the wrong end of the mic. I almost couldn't finish the song because i couldn't stop laughing.
 
solo-act said:
You know you're a bonehead when you get to the gig, loook in the back of your car and realize you forgot to load your guitars and they're still at home in the driveway :eek:
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I did that going to a gig in SF 90 miles away. I didn't realize I left my guitars at home until II got there. It was a musicians type gig, meaning there were a LOT of musicians there to see us. I was able to borrow a guitar! I left the guitars in the house though, not in the driveway.

But on TWO other occasions, after gigs I loaded all the gear in the car, spent an hour yaking to people and drove off. In one case the guitars were in a lone parking lot, clearly seen from the main street. Another case I left a new strat on a table at the club. I couldn't get an answer unti the next dday at 11 AM, when I was told the janitor put it in the office!
 
Bonehead is starting one song and playing another... years ago I was in a 2x acoustic act, and we started (well - I did) 'Red Rubber Ball' by the Circle - my compatriot launched into 'The Boxer' by Simon and Garfunkel. Weird, but we eventually worked it out...
 
When your plugging into a half stack tube amp, turn everything to 11 and hit your most crazy power chord only to hear…..nothing!
Than waste about 5 minutes running around, replacing cables and guitars only to find out eventually that the amp is on standby and not turn ON.
That’s what happens after so many years with the Axe only.
 
....you go into a show with a brand new guitar without changing the stings. Oh, sure, you tuned it up, but you trusted the strings were still in good shape when....PLOINK!

First power chord of first song and top E and A strings gave up the ghost. Oh...did I mention it was on a Floyd equipped guitar? Yeh...no way to recover from that but to stop the song, change guitars, and start over.

/BONEHEAD!
 
Just did one this week...

I still enjoy playing regular tube amps, and bought a used Deluxe Reverb. Brought it home, plugged into the regular channel (channel 2), and switched on... really loud hissing type noise through the speaker. Spent the next hour or so checking all the standard things, hiss still there even with the guitar unplugged, channel volume to zero. Swapped tubes, one by one, trying to locate the bad one. Was just getting ready to pull the chassis and start testing inside when I noticed... channel one volume, treble, bass all at 10. Turn volume down, amp goes silent.

Here's your sign...
 
It's 1980.... epic battle of the bands. We're in the final 3. Onstage, we hit the first chord, and lead singer/rhythm guitarist discovers he is hopelessly out of tune (gack!!!!). Grabs his spare Axe... and apparently he used the same tuner for that one too (choke!!!). So he just leaves the stage... and the remaining three of us start calling tunes until he comes back three songs into the set... too late. I thought he went out for a pack of smokes, and just kept walking. Got the whole thing on a rented VHS recorder.... makes me cringe/lol to this day. Epic fail. But a great lesson learned (I think).
 
Our other guitarist breaks a string. During the next song, you can hear him trying to tune the new string (without a tuner!!!) using the 5th/7th fret harmonics method... and this was broadcast LIVE on the local rock radio station.
 
SJB said:
It's 1980.... epic battle of the bands. We're in the final 3. Onstage, we hit the first chord, and lead singer/rhythm guitarist discovers he is hopelessly out of tune (gack!!!!). Grabs his spare Axe... and apparently he used the same tuner for that one too (choke!!!). So he just leaves the stage... and the remaining three of us start calling tunes until he comes back three songs into the set... too late. I thought he went out for a pack of smokes, and just kept walking. Got the whole thing on a rented VHS recorder.... makes me cringe/lol to this day. Epic fail. But a great lesson learned (I think).
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Similar....
I was filling in as a vocalist only for a 'signed' original band. Their singer quit and they had a charity gig at a bike rally.
My friend was the drummer, so I said - sure, I'll learn 6-7 of your tunes and well do a quick set.
They were a mediocre band, but they were young and trendy...hence the record deal.
The guitar player....JMC800 stack on 11, and a novice player at best.
A couple of rehearsals and I'm good to go.

Gig day...
The guitar player brought a full length mirror...yes A MIRROR to the back of the stage, so he could make sure he looked good before he stepped on stage.
He said to me - "hey, I brought a mirror in case you want to do a quick check before we go on stage"
Me - "yeah guy, I'm all set"

First song...first note....his guitar is amazingly out of tune.
He plays a couple of chords, and then just unplugs and walks off the stage to tune.
We play the entire first song with NO GUITAR. He comes back on close to the end of the song....hits a chord. Nope, still out of tune. Walks off again.
We wait until he's finished tuning again to start the second song....and while he's tuning I try to make some meaningless chatter with a crowd that is looking at us like - WTF is this?
Could have been the most embarrassing gig of my life.

That band broke up not too long after.....god I wish I said no to that gig.
 
...Right in the middle of a song...the sound cuts out. Panic ensues as my solo is coming in 20 seconds. Check the patch...it's right...check the amp...no complaints...guitar volume up...check.

Stand there looking stoopid for the rest of the song...miss my solo. After the song I tell the band we're taking a break while I figure it out...

3 seconds later find out that the bassist while face-loving the crowd had stepped on my volume pedal to no volume. <sigh>

Or the time I made an 'on the fly' change to the front panel...and bypassed the amp block.

Or the time the last song of the night is 'Sweet Home 'Bama' as a request, and not one, but TWO strings break in the middle of the 1st solo. Had to get adventurous with that one...

I've got a million of them.
 
at a duo gig, my friend turned on the the PA with his vocal mic pointed directly at the speaker about 3 feet away.

Immediate feedback that shocked all of us in the restaurant/bar, including the owner.

After we pulled the plug, I just jokingly said, "well, that's our first song"

The owner, without missing a beat said "Yeah, it's called You'll never get booked here again"

I felt like something inside me died right then...


but we've played there a couple of times since then, so I think we're ok.
 
Geezerjohn said:
You start a 3/4 tempo song with a four count.
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I had a drummer count in 3/4 correctly but started playing in 4/4 and then he finally figured out he was playing wrong right before the chorus that is supposed to switch to 4/4 but he switched to 3/4! Some how we got back to the correct time signature by the 2nd verse.

One of my bone head moves was when I couldn't figure out why my guitar sounded so distorted when it was supposed to be an overdrive tone. At the end of the show, as I was packing up my gear, I realized I plugged my MFC MIDI cable into the MIDI Out of the Axe-Fx II. I seriously thought I heard my presets changing but I definitely played the whole show on 1 super distorted preset haha. It's amazing how our minds can trick us into thinking we hear something we don't.
 
I once (years before the Axe-fx) had a drummer break a stick and knock the singers cup of water out of his hand that landed on and shorted out my pedal board.

Played a gig where the entire band was dying from a wicked flu. Singer started a chain reaction band wide puking in front of a few hundred people. The crowd cheered because none of us stopped playing. The club was not as impressed.

Happens.
 
Not sure I should post this in the bonehead section, but the pad on the AX8 doesn't affect gain levels to the amp, because it's compensated with a corresponding boost after the A/D.
 
....when you manually copy out setlists, one for each member, and on one list you forget a song. Awesome to watch three guys start a song and have one member start another. Loads of fun watching everyone look at each other to assign blame as everyone thinks they are correct...:eek:
 
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