So it's sorted.
I found a well-respected luthier not too from me that I'd never tried, gave him a call on the off chance he'd see me today, and it worked out.
He took a look and said the neck was really bowed a lot, which is what I thought.
However, when he went to adjust it, he said the truss rod was nearly all the way LOOSE!
The last thing I'd done was to take the adjuster nut off completely, lube it and tighten it back up.
When it was still bowed, I tightened it a couple times more, until I thought it felt like I shouldn't do that any more.
I'm quite sure I didn't loosen it from there, why would I?
I just gave up and went to bed.
My theory is that I must have felt an unexpected resistance that freaked me out enough to stop, long before it was actually in the right ballpark.
As I've been saying, I'm not that experienced with truss rod adjustments.
He measures almost everything, but relief he sets by eye, siting down the neck, and I haven't measured since so I don't know how it's set, but it's totally workable.
He also tapped in one fret that was slightly pulled out.
His standard action height is 1/16", as a midway starting point to adjust from.
It's workable, but I'm finding that after the action increased gradually for a while, I've gotten somewhat used to it, and there's a tad more spank than I may want.
Back in my tele days, working that snap was a big part of my playing, not so much lately, I may raise it up a bit.
I don't mind the effort for the height, it's more the delay pushing the string down I don't like.
Bottom lines:
- Pilot error all the way
- If you need a good luthier in the Boston area, try Steve Morrill Guitar Repair in Boxborough, recommended. (Not that anyone should expect it, but he wouldn't take any money for his work today, and I asked repeatedly.)