shasha
Fractal Fanatic
I don't share a lot of personal information about myself online because I am paranoid and a bit on the private side, but this is a pretty significant deal for me and this is probably the best group of guys on the internet and I'm the most comfortable in here. Long story short (not super specific), but I've just been told that I'll be medically retired very soon (like in weeks). I am sure that many here will understand what that means and figure out who I work for (I don't like associating my online activities with my career). Its not a huge surprise, I injured my back a few years ago and have been hanging on and fighting in order to meet the time requirement for my pension and full benefits and I made it to 20 years a few months ago so I knew that this was coming. I've got some other medical stuff going on as well and as embarrassing as it is sometimes to be labeled as disabled (because I don't feel like it; I've seen disabled people and I feel like a poser to be honest)...but anyway I am going to be compensated pretty generously. When I say generously I mean its just a nice unexpected addition, not "I won't ever have to work a day in my life" type of generous. 
Anyway, I suppose it's kind of hard to let go after 20 years and I've enjoyed it and had the best career I could have asked for doing something I love. I really didn't want to go, but the time is here.
You know, I really do need to get my head examined here. I suppose the biggest news is that I just got an offer sheet for a job making a little more money, doing about the same thing with none of the extra BS involved and combined with my pension and disability I will be pretty comfy. The timing of all of this coming together at the same time was something that I couldn't have planned and I'm still just trying to figure out how it all happened. I mean we're talking about less than a week's time for my life to be completely turn upside down, thrown down a flight of stairs and then it got up and dusted itself off and smiled. Its almost scary.
And yeah it's been excruciatingly stressful knowing that the hammer was going to fall at any time and there was no way to plan around it so I should feel more relieved than I do. I mean you can plan stuff when it's on your own terms and you set the dates, but I was in a state of unknown with no way to predict or plan for almost a year now. That sucked. Hard. I don't think that anyone knew just how much pent up stress was going on with me.
Its just a huge life changing event. Even good change creates some kind of stress. Maybe I just feel old now. Maybe its part of not being able to let go of things that have been important for so long and trying to grasp that they won't matter in a few weeks time.
I don't know how to feel exactly, but I do know that I should be grateful for the situation I'm in. I told someone today that I couldn't believe how lucky I was (and this is a guy that we tend to just dog each other to death) and he said "luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity". I know that it was a compliment and I appreciated it, but I do think that saying that I was prepared is taking too much credit away from just plain old dumb luck.
I didn't intend on this being this long, but the funny thing is that through a lot of those evenings when things were unknown and I was worried this place has been a great distraction and outlet to keep me from dwelling on things. That's a thank you in case you didn't pick up on that. I know that I tend to go all over the place when I start typing.
Anyway, I suppose it's kind of hard to let go after 20 years and I've enjoyed it and had the best career I could have asked for doing something I love. I really didn't want to go, but the time is here.
You know, I really do need to get my head examined here. I suppose the biggest news is that I just got an offer sheet for a job making a little more money, doing about the same thing with none of the extra BS involved and combined with my pension and disability I will be pretty comfy. The timing of all of this coming together at the same time was something that I couldn't have planned and I'm still just trying to figure out how it all happened. I mean we're talking about less than a week's time for my life to be completely turn upside down, thrown down a flight of stairs and then it got up and dusted itself off and smiled. Its almost scary.
And yeah it's been excruciatingly stressful knowing that the hammer was going to fall at any time and there was no way to plan around it so I should feel more relieved than I do. I mean you can plan stuff when it's on your own terms and you set the dates, but I was in a state of unknown with no way to predict or plan for almost a year now. That sucked. Hard. I don't think that anyone knew just how much pent up stress was going on with me.
Its just a huge life changing event. Even good change creates some kind of stress. Maybe I just feel old now. Maybe its part of not being able to let go of things that have been important for so long and trying to grasp that they won't matter in a few weeks time.
I don't know how to feel exactly, but I do know that I should be grateful for the situation I'm in. I told someone today that I couldn't believe how lucky I was (and this is a guy that we tend to just dog each other to death) and he said "luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity". I know that it was a compliment and I appreciated it, but I do think that saying that I was prepared is taking too much credit away from just plain old dumb luck.
I didn't intend on this being this long, but the funny thing is that through a lot of those evenings when things were unknown and I was worried this place has been a great distraction and outlet to keep me from dwelling on things. That's a thank you in case you didn't pick up on that.
I know that I tend to go all over the place when I start typing.
