Two new pop rock songs finished and open for reviews.

guittarzzan

guittarzzan

Inspired
Just had these two tunes mastered yesterday. I work full time so it's taken me months to get these two done. They're not perfect, but I think they at least get the idea across of the sound and feel of each song.
The electric guitars play more of a support function in these kinds of songs, but the Axefx did a pretty good job I think. I don't remember every track, but I'm pretty sure the Axefx, going direct, was about 99% of the electrics on both songs.
Everything but bass and drums was me, for better or worse. ;)

Caution: These songs contain no shredding or drop d tunings and the lyrics contain no anger or rage from my childhood :mrgreen:

The two new songs are: Painting Sheri and The distance between us.

Here's the link: http://www.showcaseyourmusic.com/StevenPenn

Thanks for listening and any comments are welcome.

cheers,
Steve
 
Very good! I really dig your style. You must've had your share of whiskey... or so it sounds in that breathy voice. Nice vocals and amazing composing!
 
Right up my alley man; damn fine work. Really enjoying listening here. More than once, which says a lot.
 
Good stuff. The first stops in the begining of Painting Sheri are 2 quiet to me. Listening to it for the first time I thought it was odd. After listening to it 3 times I really think this is a radio ready song!!!
 
Hey guys,

Thanks for your kind words. These two songs have consumed my spare time for the last few months so it's good to hear that they don't totally blow. :)

I'm hoping to land these in the hands of some established artists like The Goo Goo Dolls for "The distance between us" etc. I don't want to be a rock star. I just want to sit around in my underwear writing and recording with quarterly checks coming in to pay the bills.

In regards to some of the comments: ...no I don't drink a lot of whiskey lol. Did some excessive drinking in my teens, but now it's just healthy eating and lifting weights to stay in shape. Dojo, your comment on Painting Sheri was interesting because I had more guitar stuff going on in the intro when I went into the studio to have it mixed. It was kind of a lighter version of what's going on after the first chorus. The mix engineer felt strongly that it wasn't working for the song. I think his words were, "I don't like it" haha. I caved in and let him whittle it down to just the acoustic gtr. I'm not sure it was the right choice, but it's a done deal now.

Thanks again for the nice comments guys. When I get my publishing deal, I'm gonna send you all a nice 6 pack of tube socks!! :D

cheers,
Steve
 
Really enjoyed those!
Your voice fits perfectly with the 'feel' of those songs (I wish I could get that kind of sound with my vocals)
 
The Distance Between Us is a good song. It's big and ambient and has all the ear marks of a good pop song, but I don't think the chorus is catchy enough to be a big radio hit. Damn it's a good song though. Very well polished and the ear leading is perfect. It would fit the Goo Goo Dolls quite nicely. I reeeaaallly like the pre-chorus and it's a setup to a big huge chorus, but it doesn't quite have a hook for me. I don't mean this in an insulting way at all. As it is right now, it's just not something I can picture somebody remembering after the first or second time hearing it. The stop @ 2:55 helps that quite a bit, but the other choruses just don't do it for me.

Painting Sheri is fantastic. You appeal to my inner Collective Soul fan and the little tiny part of me I keep hidden that likes t Shawn Mullin's Rockabye... The intro is a little weird, but this is a damn fine song. Yes, I would buy the album this song landed on. I friggin' LOVE your voice on this track. It reminds me so much of Collective Soul's laid back work, which I absolutely would fight to the death to defend. Listen to their song "Reunion" and you'll hear what I'm talking about.
 
Sidivan said:
The Distance Between Us is a good song. It's big and ambient and has all the ear marks of a good pop song, but I don't think the chorus is catchy enough to be a big radio hit. Damn it's a good song though. Very well polished and the ear leading is perfect. It would fit the Goo Goo Dolls quite nicely. I reeeaaallly like the pre-chorus and it's a setup to a big huge chorus, but it doesn't quite have a hook for me. I don't mean this in an insulting way at all. As it is right now, it's just not something I can picture somebody remembering after the first or second time hearing it. The stop @ 2:55 helps that quite a bit, but the other choruses just don't do it for me.

Painting Sheri is fantastic. You appeal to my inner Collective Soul fan and the little tiny part of me I keep hidden that likes t Shawn Mullin's Rockabye... The intro is a little weird, but this is a damn fine song. Yes, I would buy the album this song landed on. I friggin' LOVE your voice on this track. It reminds me so much of Collective Soul's laid back work, which I absolutely would fight to the death to defend. Listen to their song "Reunion" and you'll hear what I'm talking about.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the comments and compliments. I like Collective Soul too and think they had a great thing going, but to be honest, ever since their big successful album, I haven't heard anything by them that really caught my ear. I dig their singer's voice too and I think the name of their band is one of the best ever. What better describes a band than "Collective Soul"? ...brilliant!

thanks for the feedback guys,
steve
 
Great job, Steven! Really liked both songs very much. Preferred "Painting Sheri" by just a little bit. Style-wise, it reminded me of Train. :)
 
Guitarzzan! Love it. I know what you mean about working hard to get something this good. I wish I could write this well on my own (I work better in a team aka in a band). Top stuff. I would daresay this is one of the better examples I've heard here, and is a testament to how the Axe-FX can sound great in a mix and really push those demos toward fully radio ready tunes.

I like the distance between us. I would agree a little about there not being a big hooky chorus lyrically but I think that might only be a matter of the first line and the notes of the melody for the first line of the chorus. The pay-off title line is perfect though. For me this track is a super strong album track for the bands mentioned so far.

Great work. I listened twice too :) I can't wait to hear more from you and best of luck getting your song to a recording artist. Maybe look at hiring someone to represent you. I think you are that good. You've spent this much already, it would be a shame to see it fall by the way cause you didn't have the marketing sway.

TimmyM
 
Thanks for all the feedback and constructive criticism guys. It's much appreciated. When working on a song from start to a mastered product, it's easy to lose perspective of some details so it's great to hear others' impressions from hearing the songs for the first time.

thanks again,
Steve
 
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