I think a lot of us have been there. I remember when I first got the Axe, at first I was quite disappointed because it sounded weak and I couldn't get a good sound. I have very little experience with real amps and had never heard of IR! But I knew the sounds were in there. The first few gigs my sound was really tinny and sharp, and it took me a long time to get the sound I wanted. Every gig I'd have a sound I thought was ok, and then as I got more experience I'd listen back and think, yuk. Our singer (boss) was not really happy and missed the valve amp, but now he regularly says how much he loves the sound.
I am now super comfortable dialling in good sounds for what I need - pub gigs! I will tell you what I learned, it may or may not suit your situation:
1) Just pick one IR and stick with it. For me this was the biggest stress relief. I settled on Leon's TV Mix 2, and am now using the latest TV Mix 7. It is clear and articulate and capable of good thump as well. My ear likes clarity more than 'growl' as I'm a rock player, but it works with metal and cleans as well.
2) LOUD. Have your monitor at least 90 dB when dialling in sounds. There are whole EQ bands that you just won't hear if it's too soft. This is why I was struggling to get a sound that worked at gigs. It would sound ok at home and then really ice picky at the gig, because I had the treble up so high to compensate for low volume at home.
3) Stick with a few amps, and stick to the authentic page (mostly). For me atm it's Band Commander for clean and the Cameron CCV 2A for mild crunch, with a shimmer or precision drive in front for heavy/lead. In the real world we spend lots of time getting to know a physical amp (or at least I did, maybe I'm just dumb!
) and it pays off here as well. The key for me was limiting my options - I never touch any of the advanced stuff.
4) Become a Leon Todd disciple! Especially the 5 minute tones, I started recreating them along with the video instead of downloading the patch. I also got AB Naked Amps, but I find I'm only really using one preset for a whole gig anyway.