I actually don't quite understand this....and I'm not criticizing...I'm actually curious why that is.
You're apparently happy with IEMs and no stage sound, which means that you're happy either without all of the 'moving air'/volume effects (e.g., harmonic feedback to whatever degree it happens) and are happy with the virtual power amp/cab interactions (not talking IRs; the things in the Amp block like impedance curves, speaker drive/compression, gain enhancer/feedback dynamics, etc.).
But, as soon as you're using stage sound, you're not happy with those things anymore and seem to want some degree of them doubled-up (unless you're changing some of the deep editing things between IEMs and backline). That seems odd.
Personally, I'm really liking FRFR-style monitoring and virtual versions of all those interactions a LOT. But, for me, it's not really a choice between virtual everything and keeping things like volume/moving-air effects, power amp/cab effects, etc.. I don't enjoy playing that loud, and I never really have. So, it's a choice between virtual everything or apparently not having some of them.
IDK...maybe having all those interactions stay virtual and just using a cab at (relatively) low volume would still be better. But, it's more of a PITA to try out.
Or, I guess it could be that you've just never tried an FRFR you like. There are a lot of really bad-sounding monitors (studio or stage) out there. In fact, most of the ones I've tried sound horrible. There was a really long time when every "small" band or DJ I saw running their own sound had either JBL Eons or Mackie Thumps, often without subwoofers....and I don't think I've ever heard those speakers sound even remotely good.