New apartment....had to start with the essentials!

[RevDrucifer]

Tl;dr, my marriage ended a couple months ago, pretty horribly. But feel no pity as I am very much enjoying life these days! After spending the last 2 months living in the same 980 sq foot house with her, it finally came time to move out of it! I didn't want to take a single thing from the house as far as furniture or literally anything aside from my clothes, random items I've had since childhood and my music gear. I practically skipped out of work and went to town on moving myself out of the house. This was the first thing to get moved in.



After this was setup and working, I went back and got all the actual essential stuff. I'm going to need to treat the hell out of this room because I can hear my typing reverberating off the walls and all my mixes sound absolutely horrible in this room! It'll be fun though. DIY acoustic panels will take me an afternoon to bang out

The next big litmus test of the next year is what kind of volume I can get away with in here. I haven't heard a peep from my neighbors coming from their end, so we've definitely got some thick walls. Not a tv or AC or anything. Also got to get a good size area rug in here because this floor is somethin' else! The studio in my house had so much shit in it and was considerably smaller, I had zero treatment and was really starting to enjoy my mixes, so this is going to be a whole new learning process. The pic is a little deceiving as the desk is about 3.5 feet away from the back wall. I'd pull it out more, but I've got enough room in here to also get a good size set of V-drums in here as well, which I absolutely cannot wait to get!

This picture is a visual representation of the first paragraph of the new chapter in my life. I'm pretty damn stoked it's starting off this way, as I've never been as fortunate as I am now. Despite the craziness of the marriage failure, I feel nothing but gratitude and joys these days.

 

[la szum]

Congrats, Rev.

When my marriage dissipated and I eventually bought a different home (after leaving the one I built and finished much
of with my own hands) I set up my stuff in the nicest room in the house, the living room. Because I damn well could.

Looking forward to hearing what you churn out of that space.

 

[Piing]

Good move forward! congratulations.

Nice decorative pedestal you have under the Axe-FX

 

[JTI]

Dig the new space! Sounds Iike things are moving in the right direction \m/ Great to hear!

 

[TSJMajesty]

Good for you! A clean slate can give you new motivations! Yeah, that tile floor..., I don't like tile.

 

[Piing]

Good for you! A clean slate can give you new motivations! Yeah, that tile floor..., I don't like tile.

I remember my colorful Art SGX2000 had a reverb called "Tile". It was awful.

 

[Tonedeaf]

When my ex and I broke up 20+ years ago I moved into my apartment with nothing but the clothes I was wearing, after giving away all my personal processions to my teenage sons. I sold my three weeks of vacation time and it was off to Ikea and Walmart.

 

[RevDrucifer]

Congrats, Rev.

When my marriage dissipated and I eventually bought a different home (after leaving the one I built and finished much
of with my own hands) I set up my stuff in the nicest room in the house, the living room. Because I damn well could.

Looking forward to hearing what you churn out of that space.

Thank you, brother!

I'm not buying a house in this market and I've got some work to do on my credit before hand. Thankfully, the sale of the house is going to wipe my slate clean while still allowing me to have a good sized down payment for about a year from now when I want to buy. I purposefully rented an apartment that's just a bit too small so I'll outgrow it. If I get too comfortable, I'll throw my money away renting forever. Buying that house was the best decision I ever made because...well, so below-

When my ex and I broke up 20+ years ago I moved into my apartment with nothing but the clothes I was wearing, after giving away all my personal processions to my teenage sons. I sold my three weeks of vacation time and it was off to Ikea and Walmart.

I've started life over many times, most often times, being the dude on the couch. For a good 10 years straight, I was the dude on the couch....and a few times after that, too. I had nothing but my clothes, guitars/gear and one box of random shit I've had since childhood. I've moved those belongings all over the place, time and time again. Starting over this time, while it was a bit odd to be standing in Target, Ikea and Bed Bath And Beyond, purchasing items I just received as wedding gifts less than 2 years ago, is entirely different.

I am beyond grateful for the career I have with the company I have it with. I make a decent living, especially for a single guy and there was a lot of thoughts about how I should go about starting over this time. When the wife and I started discussing splitting up the items, I wanted none of it. Due to how low I got in those 17 months, especially at the end, I'm extremely protective of my positivity now. We weren't arguing over anything at all, she was surprised I didn't want anything. It's all just a bunch of memories that I'm still not thrilled with. I'll let her hang onto that mess.

The sale of the house is going to allow me to fully furnish this place (with some new guitars, too!) while wiping my financial slate clean. As devastating as it all was, I'm at a point now where I'm glad it all happened because I'm so damn stoked with life and starting over 100% on my own terms that I really can't be anything but grateful!

Someone with far more wisdom than myself once said-

Through countless births in the cycle of existence
I have run, not finding
although seeking the builder of this house;
and again and again I faced the suffering of new birth.
Oh housebuilder! Now you are seen.
You shall not build a house again for me.
All your beams are broken,
the ridgepole is shattered.
The mind has become freed from conditioning:
the end of craving has been reached.

Now that's not entirely true.....because I'm craving some guitars.

 

[Justincase]

On to bigger and better things brother. Life's too short to spin your wheels for too long. Best of luck on your journey

 

[Dave Merrill]

Best to you, onward!

 

[EdgE]

Sorry to hear ,I may be going down the same road after 35 years , but your room gives me hope I just might need a bigger room , full wood shop, full gym above wood shop and two of everything for contracting

 

[TSJMajesty]

Sorry to hear ,I may be going down the same road after 35 years , but your room gives me hope I just might need a bigger room , full wood shop, full gym above wood shop and two of everything for contracting

Glad I went thru mine 15 years ago. I have so many more tools now (and guitars!) Fortunately, she was pretty cool. We had just flipped a house, and she just wanted her half of that, and left my business equip out of it. But I didn't take it very well. Very hard running a business while going through a divorce.

 

[la szum]

Can you talk about the virtues of multiple monitors, @RevDrucifer ??

 

[RevDrucifer]

Sorry to hear ,I may be going down the same road after 35 years , but your room gives me hope I just might need a bigger room , full wood shop, full gym above wood shop and two of everything for contracting

Yeah, I'm fortunate that I can store all my tools at work because I have ZERO room for them here. That was one of my favorite aspects of living in a house; I had ample room to build stuff in my backyard and tool storage. Our house was small, so I didn't have a ton of storage, but I can't sneak a bandsaw, table saw, mitersaw, drill press or any of that stuff in this new joint! That must have been a pain in the ass to move everything!

Can you talk about the virtues of multiple monitors, @RevDrucifer ??

When I work in Logic, I keep the main tracking screen in front of me, the mixer on the left and then either Axe-Edit or Logic's Piano Roll in the right monitor. Sure, I can switch to them just hitting Cmmd + 2, 3., 4, but when I added these two monitors my workflow sped up considerably. It's all part of that thing of keeping everything accessible so I don't have to think about it. it's all right there in front of me. Totally unnecessary, but it's my favorite way to get shit done!

 

[RevDrucifer]

Glad I went thru mine 15 years ago. I have so many more tools now (and guitars!) Fortunately, she was pretty cool. We had just flipped a house, and she just wanted her half of that, and left my business equip out of it. But I didn't take it very well. Very hard running a business while going through a divorce.

The easiest part for me was when I finally let go and told her I wanted it to be over. It was the 17 months leading up to that that nearly took me out. I couldn't focus on anything but the marriage and while I still got my job done, my overall attitude was a concern for a while. Thankfully, when shit went down, my CFO was in front of me within 15 minutes making sure I had everything I needed and was good to go. My company had my back as much as my best friends did and it really blew my mind. I'm forever in their debt for that.

 

[TSJMajesty]

My problem was she had "left" the marriage before I did, and I was too focused on other things to have noticed. I totally checked out for about 2 weeks. Having been through it, I believe it's much harder being the one who stays in the house. Everywhere you look, there's memories. But, you do get over it, eventually. Fortunately we had no kids, and she later remarried some really old dude, and her ass got huge! So now I can laugh about it.

 

[JTI]

The easiest part for me was when I finally let go and told her I wanted it to be over. It was the 17 months leading up to that that nearly took me out. I couldn't focus on anything but the marriage and while I still got my job done, my overall attitude was a concern for a while. Thankfully, when shit went down, my CFO was in front of me within 15 minutes making sure I had everything I needed and was good to go. My company had my back as much as my best friends did and it really blew my mind. I'm forever in their debt for that.

Rough times my friend. Sounds like you are doing much better and have your head on straight.

 

[RevDrucifer]

My problem was she had "left" the marriage before I did, and I was too focused on other things to have noticed. I totally checked out for about 2 weeks. Having been through it, I believe it's much harder being the one who stays in the house. Everywhere you look, there's memories. But, you do get over it, eventually. Fortunately we had no kids, and she later remarried some really old dude, and her ass got huge! So now I can laugh about it.

Yeah, mine had "left" before I did as well, except she told me she was still doing everything in her power to fix whatever was going on with her. We did all the therapy and all that. I refused to back down on my vows, no matter how bad it got. There was major changes in ber behavior as time went on and I was still stuck on the memory of who we were when we got married. It was 13 years of AWESOME, then after 4 months of marriage it all went to shit. Even after I found out, she still wouldn't say she wanted a divorce. Of course, once I said I wanted one, it was all good then.

She just couldn't be the bad guy, so she beat me down until I was. All the while, doing some the most fucked up shit to break me. She's walking on eggshells daily now because she's worried I'll let her family know what happened. Which I won't, because I love them too much. Losing them was harder than losing her; they're still the same people and they're amazing people. She's starting to get a major taste of reality as she came home Friday afternoon to me packing my truck. We had a brief conversation and it was the first time I've seen her cry in over a year. I wasn't mean to her, but she's been dropping this "I ruined everything", "I ruined your life" crap, looking for pity, for the last months. I told her Friday, "You keep saying that but all you ruined was us and my memories of us and your family. My life is fucking AWESOME right now, you just made it very clear to me you no longer wanted to be in it." And that's when she finally broke down.

She's staying in the house and has to pack EVERYTHING in it, so she's the one in the prison cell now. Now she's realizing exactly why I didn't want any of it. I stopped in yesterday to grab some small stuff and she was not doin' so hot. I was going to suggest maybe calling her new man to comfort her, but I've taken the high road the entire time in this and am not about to stop now. I feel like the higher road I take, deeper it's pushing to knife into her.

Rough times my friend. Sounds like you are doing much better and have your head on straight.

I'm doing AWESOME!!!! Head is firmly on straight. Hell, I didn't even fill my place with hookers and blow like I planned on spending my first weekend!