Need Advice- lost passion in making music..

V

vejichan

Inspired
Need some help ONLY from people who write their own music. Due to all the negative comments, backlash and blasting and harsh criticism about my music ...i have lost all interest and inspiration to write and play guitar.

I grew up surrounded by naysayers and didnt think i could ever make my music. I have 0 talent, 0 skill , 0 theory. Last year during the lockdown , thru the encouragement of some people i decided to give my music a try. Before, i didnt have time because of my demanding job and not being home. But now i realized my music sucks and that i am obviously not very good at playing guitar or making my music. I feel like quiting but deep down i know i enjoy it. To those that have similar experiences ..

  • how do you deal with negative comments and feedback on your music
  • how do you regain confidence and renewed inspiration to write and play guitar again
  • how do you continue and stay true and write geniune music that you want to write instead of catering to other people and trying to predict and hope that you write music that other people would like

Please any advice or help is appreciated. Thank you
 
Generally, I would say, as long as you don't want to be a professional musician, you don't have to earn any money from it, so nobody but you has to like it!

If that's the case, the path (to me) is fairly straight forward!

If you don't like your playing - get a teacher! I really do recommend it! And I'm not talking about youtube. A real human being!

Do you feel like you really need theory? If so, get a teacher, if not - why bother!

I fight through it every day for more than 10 years now. Is my music any good? I really have no clue at all. But I carry on and surprisingly, writing music is similar to almost anything in life: the more you do it, the better you become at it.
It struck me as surprising, that initially I thought, I would run dry of ideas one day - the more I have actually written and not worried, that it could be my last song, the more ideas I came up with.

Keep at it, if you like it!

And as @Joe Bfstplk pointed out: find better people. Best advice ever!

Good luck!
 
If you just started playing last year, you have a long way to go before you are at a competent level. I'm 42, been playing since I was 9, gigging since 14, recording since 14, and I STILL have a lot to learn. Don't put your cart before the horse.
 
First, there are a lot of people that "suck" that made amazing music: e.g., Daniel Johnston, the Ramones...

I recommend thinking about what you want to say with your music, and focus on that. It might be writing simple songs or painting soundscapes. Don't try to be someone or something you're not.
 
Music writing and playing is a craft… an art. You have to look at it and develop it that way. Glen Fry of The Eagles once relayed a conversation he had with Bob Seger (two multi-platinum writers and musicians there, so it’s a good lesson) when he began writing songs where was unsure of his writing. Glen asked, referring to his songs, “well, what if they’re bad?” Bob, older and much more musically accomplished at that point, told him that the songs were going to be bad! But, with work at the craft, they would get better, eventually be good, and a few might be great. So Glen wrote songs, watched writers like Seger and Jackson Browne, worked with other writers like Don Henley and JD Souther (unknown writers at the time), and learned. Obviously, he got a lot better. But it took time and continued effort.

There are some reality checkpoints in his story that apply to us all. Music creation is fun, and it feels good, but it’s not purely natural or instinctive and it takes work to be better. Realize your songs will likely be bad early, like a baby’s first steps. But work at it. If your playing isn’t making it, then work at it and get better. The old 10,000 hour rule is as applicable here as anywhere. It takes dedication, trial and error, and perseverance to get good. If it didn’t we’d all be million-selling singer songwriters!

You can’t take all the negativity, especially on the internet, to heart. Realize that most of your audience wants to be entertained, they want you to be good. The hard part is accepting when criticism is legitimate, and working to improve in the areas you’re lacking. You have to be honest with yourself there. Another quote, “Good is the Enemy of Great” applies. Strive to be great so that you find the best version of your ability. Be willing to write bad songs if that‘s what it takes to get better.

But, seriously, unless a forum or Facebook is your intended audience, don’t use them as your sole rating tool. That’s bound to end badly. And develop some thicker skin… there will be downs to go along with the ups. Some people won’t like your material, even when others think it’s spectacular. You’re putting yourself out there to be liked or disliked, so be prepared for both, because it’ll happen. Expect it, prepare for it, and you’ll get through just fine.
 
Last edited:
Bro, I know exactly what “negative comments” you’re talking about as I was in those threads over on SSO.

I don’t believe that’s where your issues stem from and your initial post doesn’t really cover what was actually going on around then. What was actually going on was that you were posting your music looking for advice, then you’d get the advice, which came along with ZERO criticism from anyone, but didn’t seem to be actually implementing it. I know I was more than supportive in our PM’s back and forth, but if I told you to turn the vocals up, I’d get a message back saying “It’s really terrible and I should just quit.”, when I was just telling you to turn the volume of the vocals up.

It wasn’t until after a month of that when I found the thread on SSO where I saw that you were doing the same thing over there. There were plenty of people giving you pointers without any negative criticism whatsoever. Everyone was more than happy to give you pointers. When, and if, you’d post the revision after getting the advice, you wouldn’t tell anyone what you changed and often times, you couldn’t hear a change reflective of the advice given. It very much gave the impression to everyone that you weren’t listening to any of the advice being given. That frustrated some people who took time to try to help you, because it just became wasted time on their end.

I’m certainly by no means laying into you, but I think your biggest issue is your own self-criticism. If I go in my inbox I’ll find numerous messages from you putting yourself down about the song when I’d be telling you how great a vocal line was or how catchy you pulled something off, often times with you saying “I should just quit.”

We’re often our own worst enemy and if we’re quick to attack ourselves, anything coming from outside sources may seem like an attack when it’s not, because you’re already so used to beating yourself down.

I don’t recall a single comment or message of anyone criticizing your music, only your reception to the advice being given because none of the advice given was coming through in your revisions. And it wasn’t like it was just one bit of advice or a one-time thing, it was continuous. I think I have like 4 different messages telling you to do the same thing, turn the vocals up, and it seemed like you were sending me the exact same mix over and over. I honestly thought you were messing with me at one point because of it.

Stop beating yourself up.

The other part of that is that, like many other people, they get all the gear they need to write and record complete songs, get all the plug-ins and expect they can just slap them on and call it a day. Mixing music is like learning a whole other instrument in itself. It’s not something you just start doing and are automatically good at. It takes years of figuring out how to make everything work together and checking your mixes against references or on different systems. I started teaching myself how to record/mix 6 years ago and I’m just now getting to a place where I dig my mixes. That came after I had already spent 15-20 years recording in studios and letting other people push the buttons while I did my best to dictate what I wanted to hear.
 
Last edited:
vejichan said:
Need some help ONLY from people who write their own music. Due to all the negative comments, backlash and blasting and harsh criticism about my music ...i have lost all interest and inspiration to write and play guitar.

I grew up surrounded by naysayers and didnt think i could ever make my music. I have 0 talent, 0 skill , 0 theory. Last year during the lockdown , thru the encouragement of some people i decided to give my music a try. Before, i didnt have time because of my demanding job and not being home. But now i realized my music sucks and that i am obviously not very good at playing guitar or making my music. I feel like quiting but deep down i know i enjoy it. To those that have similar experiences ..

  • how do you deal with negative comments and feedback on your music
  • how do you regain confidence and renewed inspiration to write and play guitar again
  • how do you continue and stay true and write geniune music that you want to write instead of catering to other people and trying to predict and hope that you write music that other people would like

Please any advice or help is appreciated. Thank you
Click to expand...
Simple. Are you writing music for yourself….for others….or both? Once you determine that you’ll find your lane. Writing for yourself you only have yourself to please. Keep the joy in that. If you’re writing for others and adhering to the craft of songwriting then that’s another animal. Music should be fun and enjoyable. Find what that is for YOU and the rest falls into place.
 
Yeah, play for you.
If anyone else hears it and they like it, cool, but you can't twist yourself up chasing that.
It's gotta work for you, anything else is gravy.
Or a trap.
Or irrelevant.

Another thing.
If you find that music isn't doing it for you, that's ok too.
I'm 1000% NOT trying to discourage you, just saying that you're more than a musician, you're a human being.
Stuff changes, and goes in cycles.
Don't only freak out about what used to be and isn't any more, there's always some of that.
 
RevDrucifer said:
Bro, I know exactly what “negative comments” you’re talking about as I was in those threads over on SSO.

I don’t believe that’s where your issues stem from and your initial post doesn’t really cover what was actually going on around then. What was actually going on was that you were posting your music looking for advice, then you’d get the advice, which came along with ZERO criticism from anyone, but didn’t seem to be actually implementing it. I know I was more than supportive in our PM’s back and forth, but if I told you to turn the vocals up, I’d get a message back saying “It’s really terrible and I should just quit.”, when I was just telling you to turn the volume of the vocals up.

It wasn’t until after a month of that when I found the thread on SSO where I saw that you were doing the same thing over there. There were plenty of people giving you pointers without any negative criticism whatsoever. Everyone was more than happy to give you pointers. When, and if, you’d post the revision after getting the advice, you wouldn’t tell anyone what you changed and often times, you couldn’t hear a change reflective of the advice given. It very much gave the impression to everyone that you weren’t listening to any of the advice being given. That frustrated some people who took time to try to help you, because it just became wasted time on their end.

I’m certainly by no means laying into you, but I think your biggest issue is your own self-criticism. If I go in my inbox I’ll find numerous messages from you putting yourself down about the song when I’d be telling you how great a vocal line was or how catchy you pulled something off, often times with you saying “I should just quit.”

We’re often our own worst enemy and if we’re quick to attack ourselves, anything coming from outside sources may seem like an attack when it’s not, because you’re already so used to beating yourself down.

I don’t recall a single comment or message of anyone criticizing your music, only your reception to the advice being given because none of the advice given was coming through in your revisions. And it wasn’t like it was just one bit of advice or a one-time thing, it was continuous. I think I have like 4 different messages telling you to do the same thing, turn the vocals up, and it seemed like you were sending me the exact same mix over and over. I honestly thought you were messing with me at one point because of it.

Stop beating yourself up.

The other part of that is that, like many other people, they get all the gear they need to write and record complete songs, get all the plug-ins and expect they can just slap them on and call it a day. Mixing music is like learning a whole other instrument in itself. It’s not something you just start doing and are automatically good at. It takes years of figuring out how to make everything work together and checking your mixes against references or on different systems. I started teaching myself how to record/mix 6 years ago and I’m just now getting to a place where I dig my mixes. That came after I had already spent 15-20 years recording in studios and letting other people push the buttons while I did my best to dictate what I wanted to hear.
Click to expand...

I have noticed some things, too, and I wonder how much, or how little, might be attention-seeking
and/or a cry for help from the outside when the real answers rest deep within.

I mean, in the final analysis, can anyone else engage in those struggles for us?
 
Rick said:
Music writing and playing is a craft… an art. You have to look at it and develop it that way. Glen Fry of The Eagles once relayed a conversation he had with Bob Seger (two multi-platinum writers and musicians there, so it’s a good lesson) when he began writing songs where was unsure of his writing. Glen asked, referring to his songs, “well, what if they’re bad?” Bob, older and much more musically accomplished at that point, told him that the songs were going to be bad! But, with work at the craft, they would get better, eventually be good, and a few might be great. So Glen wrote songs, watched writers like Seger and Jackson Browne, worked with other writers like Don Henley and JD Souther (unknown writers at the time), and learned. Obviously, he got a lot better. But it took time and continued effort.

There are some reality checkpoints in his story that apply to us all. Music creation is fun, and it feels good, but it’s not purely natural or instinctive and it takes work to be better. Realize your songs will likely be bad early, like a baby’s first steps. But work at it. If your playing isn’t making it, then work at it and get better. The old 10,000 hour rule is as applicable here as anywhere. It takes dedication, trial and error, and perseverance to get good. If it didn’t we’d all be million-selling singer songwriters!

You can’t take all the negativity, especially on the internet, to heart. Realize that most of your audience wants to be entertained, they want you to be good. The hard part is accepting when criticism is legitimate, and working to improve in the areas you’re lacking. You have to be honest with yourself there. Another quote, “Good is the Enemy of Great” applies. Strive to be great so that you find the best version of your ability. Be willing to write bad songs if that‘s what it takes to get better.

But, seriously, unless a forum or Facebook is your intended audience, don’t use them as your sole rating tool. That’s bound to end badly. And develop some thicker skin… there will be downs to go along with the ups. Some people won’t like your material, even when others think it’s spectacular. You’re putting yourself out there to be liked or disliked, so be prepared for both, because it’ll happen. Expect it, prepare for it, and you’ll get through just fine.
Click to expand...

This reminds me of someone asking Willie Nelson how to write a good song. His reply
was something along the lines of "You have to write 1,000 shitty ones first." :)
 
Embrace the suck! Embrace the suck!




Sucking is not a problem. Sucking does not need correcting. Sucking is a vital and necessary phase,
and for some like me a constant. I am going to miss notes every day and sing flat or sharp, and have
to rehearse takes more than I think I should, and find a way to keep moving in spite of all the feedback
from MY OWN ACTION that I shoulkd just stop and quit sucking.

But I don't. I sucked when I started. I sucked when I wanted to quit. I sucked ten years ago and ten days ago
and I will have moments in the future where I will suck super hard ten days from now. And I am not stopping.
Because in spite of all the sucking it is super fun and inspiring.

Music never quit me when I needed it the most in life, and I am not quitting it. :)
 
If you enjoy creating your own music, and you like the results, then that should be enough. But we're social creatures. We do crave love and acceptance by others.
What makes a song "good?"

If you just jumbled a bunch of quickly-played notes together simply based on a complex pattern on the guitar, and you liked it because it was a challenge to play, would that make it a good song, or good music? Probably not, because it wouldn't necessarily be pleasing to the ear.
But if you were to put something like that into a part of a song, and make it somehow "fit," musically, then it might work.

If you were to write a basic chord progression in a certain key, but threw in one chord that obviously didn't fit, but you did it on purpose just because that's what you wanted to do, and then everyone who listened to it didn't like it, would that bother you? Would they be wrong?

The music that moves me is either great riffs, melodic stuff with a minor-key mood, or complex, prog-style music. I absolutely love Funeral for a Friend, but I could never write something like that, because I don't understand how Elton makes all those minor & major chords work out together, and fit so well with each other. But I can come up with cool hooks and riffs that I do like.

As long as you like it first, and there's nothing that you'd change, then that's truly good enough. But I think there's a part in all artists that want others to like what we create as well.
 
I don't produce music for anyone and if I were really good at it I think I'd still mainly just do it for my own satisfaction. I like recording my own music just for the experience of it; the creative process is good for the soul/mental health. It keeps me engaged with learning and exploring ideas. That for me is the reward in itself. If even one person listened to it and said 'hey , I quite dig that' then cool. If not, no loss for me. I already got the reward.
 
Chewie5150 said:
I don't produce music for anyone and if I were really good at it I think I'd still mainly just do it for my own satisfaction. I like recording my own music just for the experience of it; the creative process is good for the soul/mental health. It keeps me engaged with learning and exploring ideas. That for me is the reward in itself. If even one person listened to it and said 'hey , I quite dig that' then cool. If not, no loss for me. I already got the reward.
Click to expand...

Bingo! I have thousands of pieces of music recorded over the years for an audience of one. :)

The seeking of external approval to make us feel complete inside is a dead-end path,
in my experience---not to mention a damn rocky and rough road until you find out it is a
"dead-end."
 
81jJoep3XBL._AC_SL1500_.jpg
 
RevDrucifer said:
What was actually going on was that you were posting your music looking for advice, then you’d get the advice, which came along with ZERO criticism from anyone, but didn’t seem to be actually implementing it.
Click to expand...
I forgot about this. We (op and myself) had a similar exchange via PM's in which the thing that I and another member had both noticed, yet you didn't change anything. It got to a point where I felt we weren't communicating at all, and if you recall I didn't continue our conversation, similar also to what Rev posted.

I guess my point is, if you ask for advice, people are more than willing to help, but you need to be willing to try their ideas, since you asked for the advice in the first place.
 
Last edited:
la noise said:
81jJoep3XBL._AC_SL1500_.jpg
Click to expand...
The Court Clerk of the city I was policing as a younger officer saw I was struggling with the silliness I was getting from the City Attorney and Judge over some charges they were dismissing in a family violence case. She had this quotation framed and gave it to me. It remained with me throughout my career, and hung in my office as Chief of Police for many years. It is one of the truest observations ever made.
 
Unless I am reading it wrong and if I am I apoligize. But it sounds like YOU are saying, I quote you, "I have 0 talent, 0 skill , 0 theory."
That is kind of weird to me. Do you believe those things? If you do, it's going to be a long hard climb to wherever you want to go.
But, that being said, imho, that is the first thing you need to overcome. Their are only so many Mozarts, IOW, most of us had to practice, fail, practice, get better and practice some more.
If you really want that, then just do it. The hell with what others say. First you do for yourself and then when you progress you can do for others.
But you really need to lose the negative attitude. Make it NOT TRUE....................
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom