Everything is working normally now!
I appreciate everybody's help. A lot. But the thing is... " I R Grunt"
I'll explain: The United States Marine Corps Infantry is one of the most lethal fighting forces on the face of this planet. But.... For as intelligent as we are... We can be pretty damn stupid sometimes. By our very nature, we over-complicate things like a motherfucker.
For example, I can take apart and reassemble a Browning M2 (Pictured Below) and I consider that a rather simple (albeit time consuming) task
But when it comes to licking a damn 9 volt to make sure the batteries i'm playing with aren't all dead.... I can't think of doing that.
Sorry for wasting your guy's time, but I appreciate your willingness to help me out.