The stress of this job has become so overwhelming that I have TMJ and an ulcer.
People on these forums don't realize that when everything is directed at one person the stress can be overwhelming. It's easy to criticize, it's difficult to be the brunt of constant criticism.
Sorry to hear that. I know what you mean. I have been working on e-commerce for more than 10 years already. You have to understand that this is how internet works and do not take it personally.
Anytime something goes wrong for whatever reason you will receive a lot of complaints due to the ease of doing it anonymously and without having to go anywhere else but a computer. Some of the people complaining could even be competitors trying to take advantage of the situation.
As I mentioned in another thread it is very important to do a good planning before a product release specially if you expect a lot of demand but I am sure you realized of that already. If it better not to release information publicly than to release something that is not accurate or that you cannot guarantee 100%.
You have to realize that everything you write in a forum or website will be read by a lot of people, and once it is there, there is no going back, because it will be quoted in other forums, websites, etc... really fast. If you make a mistake like the one you did calling some annoying people "indignant whiners", trust me the best thing you can do is delete that thread as soon as possible and any other related to the subject even if you are accused of censorship. I think you already did that with some threads anyway.
It is also very important that when you say something it is 100% clear with no doubt for misinterpretation, you will save a lot of questions from customers. You have to be in full control. If you see in your forums a lot of people discussing about one issue you should address it as soon as possible because if you do not do it it will keep growing and get worse.
So basically to have a forum is a great tool to release information, get feedback about your product and help you to improve it, but at the same time it becomes a place of reunion for your customers and non customers to join forces and complain about anything whenever they feel whether they are right or wrong.
My suggestion is that if customer service is overwhelming for you, you should take a step back and have someone else take care of the forums at least until everything is back to normal. You should not expose yourself to this unless strictly necessary specially if this is affecting your health.