Joke Thread

Entasis

Entasis

Inspired
Dear Abby,

I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things happening when I get home. Her cell phone rings and she steps outside to answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later". When I ask her who called, she gets evasive. Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way. I once picked up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry.

A buddy of mine, who is also a guitar player, told me that my wife and some guy have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp. That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really happening.
I said "Sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the gig and see if she shows up, and who she shows up with."
He agreed. Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack to get a good view. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other three. Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take it to a technician?

Thanks,
Very Concerned
 
A guy goes to meet his buddy, a zookeeper at the local zoo, for lunch. As he gets to the zoo, the zookeeper says, 'Let me go change out of these coveralls and we'll head out.' So, off he goes to change.

As the friend is waiting, he sees that he's next to the monkey enclosure. He notices that there is a peanut vending machine to feed the monkeys. He pops in a quarter and gets a handful of peanuts. He tosses a peanut into the nearest cage. The monkey there sees it and walks over. He picks up the peanut, then sticks it directly up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The man is amazed and repulsed. But, human nature being what it is, throws the monkey another peanut. Sure enough, the monkey does the same thing. Walks over, picks up the peanut, sticks it up his ass, then pulls it out and eats it. The guy is again floored and disgusted.

Shortly after, the zookeeper reappears and says, 'Alright. Let's head out.' The guy looks at him and says, 'Man, you've got yourself one really stupid monkey here.' The zookeeper says, 'What? How so?' The friend says, 'Watch this!' Proceeds to throw another peanut in the cage. As before, the monkey does the same thing. Grabs the peanut, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out again and eats it.

The friend says, 'See? THAT is one stupid monkey.'

The zookeeper responds, 'No. That is one very SMART monkey.'

The friend says, 'Pfft, how the hell do you figure that?!'

The zookeeper says, 'Well, last week, someone threw him a peach and he couldn't pass the pit. So now he measures everything first.'
 
Last edited:
dr bonkers said:
Why did Kustom create the padded and upholstered Tuck N Roll cabinet for bass players?

When the girlfriend kicks them out of the house, they always have a comfy place to sleep.
Click to expand...
I had a 4x12 T&R cab when I was in highschool used to ride it down a street called south gate in Daly City from my friends house on 87th street (about 12 blocks) after practice way cooler than a shopping cart!
 
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