How to politely evict a band mate?

I always focus on the things that they CAN control, like being prepared, showing up to rehearsals (and on time), etc. My personal motto on firing someone is that if it surprises them, I haven't done my job trying to make it work. Every time I have an issue with a band mate I always have a calm, one on one conversation letting them know what the problem is and what my expectations are. That way when they don't meet expectations they see it coming and usually the drama is slightly less. This is incredibly hard to do with someone who works hard yet simply lacks the ability to pull of what is required.
 
Just tell her that she deserves better than your "poor band". See what I mean? :?
She's an artist, she don't look back...
 
I think you answered your own question in your 2nd paragraph. Right there are your reasons, & they are the truth. & if it is a "collective" decision, we'll all the more better. There is a right & wrong way of delivering this information, but you cannot lessen the initial reaction. Only time can do that. My 2 cents..........
 
In a situation like that you're a **** if you do and a **** if you don't.

Unless you've a new singer in mind somewhere who's keen to join the band then the 'disband' temporarily thing can actually work ... but it's the chickens way out really.

Draw straws, man up and do it face to face is the proper way if she isn't the one you all want. Then maybe disband for a while (but keep a look out for a new singer) to give her a dignified exit and she can use her own excuse for 'not re-joining'?
 
Yeah, no easy way out, dude.
One of you has got to be the "douche" and do it.
But it's got to be done, otherwise the whole band's gonna go down,
you know like how bad vibes spread on stage? It's a bummer
 
How would you like to be "fired"?
I wouldn't. I'd like to be given a straight critique of what the issues are, with a program to do to handle them. As a singer:
1. Work Ethic: Show up at rehearsal with lyrics learned and homework done.
2. Quality: Work on voice to improve range and accuracy. There are drills to learn to sing on pitch.
3. Time frame. Give her the option of a probationary period where she shows her intent to be THE singer in that band.
All done by the band leader, privately, with compassion but straight.
She will get the intention that the band wants more than what she has given so far and either she rises to the occasion (which might happen) or she will leave. But that way, it puts her in the position to be causative over the situation and take responsibility for it, instead of being "shot from guns".
 
Dpoirier said:
I knew it when I joined last fall, but kept it to myself. Recently, the two founding members also expressed discouragement over her inabilities. That was a relief for me, and we're now converging on a unanimous conclusion that she has to go.
Click to expand...

My impression is that you have a communication / honesty issue in your band and that is not good for anyone or the music. Given the expectations, my impression is that the band hired the wrong person for the job.
 
There's no polite nice way to do it.

Call a band meeting at a neutral place. If she has any gear at the rehearsal/band space, bring it. Tell her the decision to move on without has been made collectively, sorry. And then leave.

Having both done it and the experience of having it done to me; just be quick, frank and direct. Stringing it out or trying to be 'nice' is BS. It never ends well, it is always messy. Just be respectful, up front, unemotional and honest.
 
What Scott said. At the end of the day she's getting fired and that's how she'll see it. Just do it quick, clean, and respectfully.


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2c:
imo - honesty is the best policy. maybe you could just say it isn't working out, looking for a different vocal style (<bullshit optional :D)
 
Hopefully the band hasn't gone in together to pool their resources on buying gear. THAT'S when it really gets sticky. I wouldn't do the chicken shit thing and disband just to reform later without her. That's is very lame and fools no one.
 
Play crappy guitar solos all over the vocals.....use an eleven rack or pod xt and dial int the worst mosquito tone you can. Act like you're all strung out on drugs. Have 2 or three of you blow off rehearsals.
 
Change the band's style to free-form avant-garde jazz and you will probably find she will sack the rest of you. Simple.
 
I think the best way, and I've had to do this many many times, is to be honest about it, just have a private talk ( not the whole band ) and explain why you need to move on with a replacement, give some constructive criticism and point out all the good qualities, and leave the door open for future projects together, and try to remain friends.. most of the people I've had to fire over the years I'm still friends with, and they understand after a while why they had to be replaced.
 
I have no experience with this, but maybe writing it out and handing it to her would help ease the blow. Maybe start with, "We're really sorry, but"... and then discuss the decision (if she wants).
 
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